Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

When do you know there's nothing left in a relationship

22 replies

Appymummy · 02/06/2019 13:17

Just that really! How do you know when it's better not to be in the relationship then to give one more try or chance?

OP posts:
Original poster
Appymummy · 02/06/2019 13:18

I should say marriage not relationship!

OP posts:
Freyasmum1 · 02/06/2019 13:19

When you can no longer be bothered to argue then it's definitely dead

DisplayPurposesOnly · 02/06/2019 13:33

Loss of respect.

Little chance of change for the better.

When it's turning you into a person you don't want to be.

Auntpetunia2015 · 02/06/2019 13:40

My lightbulb moment came 4 years ago when I was sat; as always in the front room on my own after rushing in from work making dinner, taking the kids to scouts and then tidying up after dinner whilst my then H ate said dinner and then sat at his laptop playing games (not a 30 year old gamer but a 53 year old ) and it was coming up to my mums 82nd birthday and I thought...I’ve got another 40 plus years of this shit and the kids will be off to uni soon. That and the fact i started hearing about accidents on his route home and sort of hoping he’d be involved...

HollyBollyBooBoo · 02/06/2019 13:43

When I'd rather be home alone in pjs or cleaning than being on a date with him. So over by that point!

TurboTeddy · 02/06/2019 15:00

That and the fact i started hearing about accidents on his route home and sort of hoping he’d be involved...

That made me laugh. Surely I'm going straight to hell. Smile

EKGEMS · 02/06/2019 19:09

^^ Me too lol

youorme · 02/06/2019 19:29

Yep. Hoping they’d drop dead is a big clue

Inexperiencedchick · 02/06/2019 19:45

When i was called “stupid and cheap” This just pushed me to walk away without thinking, and asking him not to contact me anymore...

Auntpetunia2015 · 02/06/2019 20:04

Glad I made you laugh !! Yeah funny how that wasn’t what pushed me over the edge ..

Hecateh · 02/06/2019 21:03

Loss of respect - for many reasons, not least that any opinion I dared to have was attributed to talking to someone else or reading trashy magazines.

I went through with the split despite having 2DC (8&9) and opposition from everyone (including my DM) who thought he was great because he was so involved with the kids in public.

For a long time I believed the total responsibility for the break up was mine, that I should have been happy but wasn't and that I wasn't good enough, didn't try hard enough - wasn't enough!

Didn't regret it ever despite feeling guilty

It was only later much later that it was emotional abuse on his part that made me think it was my fault. That he was only ever a 'daddy' in public, at home they were my responsibility and that he had no idea what it really meant to parent, and that he never ever in 15 years (before or after getting married) had paid me a compliment.

Miniloso · 02/06/2019 21:10

I knew last Friday when I was driving my abusive BF for a weekend away. 2.5 hours into the journey, 20 mins away from destination he insulted me horribly so i stopped the car on a dual carriageway with no hard shoulder, got out and threw his bag on the road. Unfortunately he locked himself in the car, so I got in and drove him to the nearest train station, refusing to engage in his nonsense, threw his bag out there and drove away.

Miniloso · 02/06/2019 21:11

He’s obviously now an Ex. I dumped him there and then.

NorthernTart · 02/06/2019 21:16

Bloody hell Miniloso you are a star!

Inexperiencedchick · 02/06/2019 21:17

Miniloso welldone for walking away. 🌹

Hope you are okay 🍰🍷

chickaussie · 02/06/2019 21:44

When you reach the point when you are asking that question, then what's left is not worth saving. Life is short, make it special not a grind.

Cath2907 · 02/06/2019 22:47

When my evening pre snooze daydreams of future holidays all started with him being too ill to go!

When I was really hoping he’d have an affair so I’d have a “good” reason to chuck him out.

When I realised I was changing into my nightclothes in the en-suite because I was not comfortable naked in front of him (normally I am happy as Larry in my birthday suit!)

I divorced him and have been living in my new house with just DD and dog since Easter......bliss!!

Miniloso · 03/06/2019 00:26

Thanks @Inexperiencedchick and @NorthernTart

I am ok thanks, it was his second chance, I’m having therapy since our first break up and it helped me get my get my self esteem back and see clearly what he was doing.

I ended it on my terms with a clear head, but boy was I angry!! Can’t believe I did it, but I did. Horrible, manipulative, narcissistic, nasty man!

madcatladyforever · 03/06/2019 00:27

When you look at him and wish he was dead.

Miniloso · 03/06/2019 00:28

I did end up in the car for 8 hours that day though, left home at 11.30, got home 7.30pm!! I kept missing my turn offs 🤣

Chocmallows · 03/06/2019 00:35

Miniloso maybe you needed to keep driving and reflecting. Good you got rid of him.

Chocmallows · 03/06/2019 00:37

My moment was when I found out about his affair and it was the best moment for the voice in my head - which was screaming at me "now get rid!"

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.