Over the last 18 months both a family member and my husband have been very ill. It's been really tough and stressful. Several ambulance trips to A&E, hospital stays and intensive care. Last year I was really hurt that quite a few people that I thought were very good friends didn't even contact me to see how the invalids/I was coping. This winter it happened again but I was kind of expecting it this time. I'm still hurt, but dealing with it better this time!
My dilemma is that I have a big birthday coming up. For these aforementioned friends I've organised trips or mini breaks for their big birthdays (as a group). Made a fuss of them. I've done things for them if they've had tough times. I'm planning on a small, low key party, but am thinking of just inviting the few real friends and family who were actually there for the tough times. Times are pretty tough, my husband hasn't worked for a year, I've had a few months off caring for them. I don't want a big party. But if I don't invite them am I being passive aggressive? Underlining the fall out? If they came they'd act as though nothing had happened, be all over my husband telling him how glad they are he's ok etc.