Would a family man cheat?

[Heartbroken1979]

Could a self-confessed family man have an affair? A man who says that he prioritises his marriage? Who says that family is the most precious thing?

DH has said all of this stuff for years and recently too. I suspect he might be having at least an emotional affair with a woman from his old work. I don’t have any evidence, it’s just a gut feeling.

Am I being a crazy jealous wife? I know he believes the things he said or at least he used to believe it. Are there other husbands out there who claim that their family is the most important thing but still cheat anyway?

I don’t know what to think. Rationally I would say of course he wouldn’t cheat. He’s against cheating and prioritises the family above all else. So why am I even still thinking about it? I’m not ready to talk to him about it.

You can't deny the power of instinct.
And words, while wonderful and emotive and necessary for good story telling and making a point, are ultimately meaningless. Actions are everything.
Do you feel like you're his number one priority? Do you feel valued, cherished, listened to?

I've met many people who are scornful about others who have affairs whilst doing it themselves.. if anything, I've met more people who are that way around than the other way..! I think it's a weird deflection technique they use to ease their guilt yet they'll justify their cheating as a special case somehow "he/she was horrible to me, I'm trapped in a loveless marriage, etc etc"

Y es a family man can cheat, however principled a person may seem,things can go wrong sometimes. You always think that people should be able to stop in their tracks , to stop a cheating affair from happening, but sadly,it's something that happens,again and again with lots of people, men and women.

ANYBODY is capable of cheating, despite what they may claim.

Some people can compartmentalise very effectively, so their lies don't even feel like lies to them.

Someone saying they are anti-something is no guarantee that they won't indulge in that behaviour.

Look at the mani priests who are vehemently anti gay and then.... www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/grindr-blackmail-and-confession-the-life-of-a-gay-seminarian-1.3808475?mode=amp

In the last 3 years I’ve discovered that the least likely people can do the crappiest things, feminist minded husband with chronic secret porn habit etc (4/5 times a week etc) . Seriously OP go with your gut and keep an eye on it

Anyone is capable of cheating.
I really thought my H would never cheat or have an affair but he walked out on nearly a decade of us and 2 dc for another woman.

Most people will cheat given the opportunity.

Sorry to be a downer but of course.

Also the ones that go on and on about how 'I'm a family man' 'I'm a family man' make me worry. Yeah alright mate, who you trying to convince me or you.

People compartmentalise and can always convince themselves that when they do something it's not as bad as when other people do.

People who are scornful about affairs will justify their own as unavoidable fatalistic true love or genuinely believe an old stereotyped line about their wife not understanding the stress they're under. People convince themselves that they are special and different, it's human nature.

Doesn't mean that your husband has done this, but his self declared family man identity doesn't mean he wouldn't.

Emotional affairs are an odd one because of the line between friendship and "something more" but certainly he'll know if he's stepped over that line, and it's probably hard to step back without cutting all non work contact permanently.

You have nothing to go on here, like you said. You saw them both together and you felt left out. Do you feel worried because you are anxious, you feel somehow less x, y and z than her..and therefore you get suspicious? Or do you feel suspicious because there is indeed a connexion between the two? Impossible to know. Do speak to him. We know nothing.

Oh yes they definitely do.

I witnessed it a fair few times when I worked in a very male industry.

The wives were totally unsuspecting and usually utterly worshipped the ground their 'D'H's walked on.

Christmas parties were the worst, because the only people unaware out of dozens/hundreds of people were of course the DWs.

I was very young and hated witnessing it as of course the wives were always lovely.

Anyone can cheat.

Why haven’t you spoken to ur husband ? Trust how ur feeling

I think you'd be naive to believe that, the people I know that had affairs were all crazy about their families.

You could be writing about my ExH. He said all those things. He had an affair. It doesn't mean your DH is, but him saying those things is no guarantee that he isn't.

Could a self-confessed family man have an affair? A man who says that he prioritises his marriage? Who says that family is the most precious thing?

In short, yes.
My boss was like this and I’m sure lots of other men are too...

Is you Husband like this... I have no idea but you sound suspicious
is your marriage happy?

Any update op?

I have always learnt to trust your gut. Regardless if it's cheating or not if something feels off it most likely is. Has his behaviours changed? Something has alerted you I think regarding behaviour