Messy seperation and money problems

[Redmama24]

Hi everyone

Myself and my ex partner are currently separating. We have a 3 year old and we jointly own a house together, which we will be selling.

I won't go too much into it, but my ex is verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive. He has done no more than one week consecutively at work for about a year, constantly calling in sick, doing drugs behind my back, staying up all night gaming and then sleeping all day. He has put his job and our family at risk. He shouts, swears, calls me names etc etc you get the picture.

Anyway, life has been pretty miserable and I've finally decided enough is enough, I want my son away from this toxic environment and I want to be happy again.

We will be selling the house. There is not much equity in it, perhaps £20,000.
I plan to rent somewhere for myself and my son, who will be with me 90% of the time. My ex wants to buy a new property.

When we bought the house, (just before I found out i was pregnant), we had a 'Declaration of Trust' written up, stating that if ever we were to separate, my ex would get his £15,000 deposit back and the rest of the equity would be split equally between us.

We received this document in the post from our solicitors, and were told that if we want to go ahead that we should sign the document (with witnesses) and return to the solicitors, however they advised against the terms laid out in the document.

At this point, having just found out I was pregnant, I decided not to sign the document. So the declaration of trust remains unsigned and not returned to the solicitors.

My question is, is this document legally binding?
My ex is trying to use 'intent' to take the money back and leave me and my son with nothing.

But I decided shortly after receiving the draft copy, that I no longer had any intention to sign it, so would that stand up in court?

I think a much fairer outcome would be a 50/50 split of all equity (keeping in mind the abuse, the awful behaviour of my ex and the fact that he will, by choice, be seeing his son once a fortnight).

Just wondering if anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation. I will be speaking to a solicitor of course. Just hoping for some reassurance I guess.

xxx

Forgot to add, he has also racked up £15,000 of credit card debt whilst calling in sick everyday.

What reservations did the solicitor have about the terms of the Declaration?

I'd have thought that as it wasn't signed then it is void

Are you married? As that will also affect the split

Nope, not legally binding.

Is it a joint credit card? Are you linked to it in anyway?

I can't remember what their actual reservations were in their words, but the letter I have here says to please note the document goes against what they advise (I think it's because rather than saying it will be split 60/40 or whatever, it was the set amount going to him and the rest to be split).

Because I had just then found out I was pregnant I was not comfortable with the thought of possibly being left with nothing if we were to split, which happens to be the case.

We are not married and I am not linked to his credit card, it is his personal credit card(s) however I'm aware that whilst we both own this house his debt could still affect me so I want out asap.

If you didn't sign it then it's not valid.
Otherwise why would you need to sign it?
Good luck OP. Hope the credit card debt
is in his name if so you are not responsible.

I really hope that is the case. All i want is the best for my little boy. My ex can go out and earn £500 a week if he wants to - I don't have that option, I can only work around my son and I just need to know we are secure with a home to live in and some money behind us. It's a shame that my ex is not concerned about his son, only himself and whether he can buy another house for himself. :(

It’s not valid but he could use it to show intent.

It also is a good argument to say that it’s his money.

Sorry, that isn’t what you want to hear.

I just feel like if it is legally binding because there was intent, well that could apply to anything in life?
If you start the process of buying a house, but then pull out before signing anything because you find a huge problem, are you legally obliged to go ahead because there was 'intent'?
If you say you're going to marry someone then they have an affair, are you legally obliged to marry them because you intended to do so?
Extreme examples i know and maybe I'm looking at it wrong. I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself and wondering why good things happen for shitty people and the good people get left behind. xxx

There wasn't intent was there? If there had been, you would have signed it. You thought about it, you considered it, but that's all.

I fully get what ur coming from but that’s what he may argue.

Even arguing that that’s the money he put in and should get back is a valid argument iyswim

Exactly that.

Yes I see what you mean that could be a valid argument, and I'd have no issue if there wasn't a child involved. But there is and I feel like that should change things.

Thanks for all your replies, they are really appreciated xxx