What do you and your DH do together if you don't have many/any interests in common?

[TwigTheWonderKid]

DH and I have been together for 28 years and married for 23 years. Our DCs are 13 and 10 years old so we were alone together for quite a long time until they came along.

Once the kids were born I guess we pulled together because of that but now they are getting older and needing us less (and perhaps because we've spent a good few years putting them first) we are definitely not spending much time together.

It's alwaye been the case that our moral, social and political views have been the same so from that point of view we are are very close. However, we've never really had interests in common and whilst I am quite outgoing DH would probably become a hermit if I let him but we both agree we need to find some ways to reconnect.

Has anyone been in a similat position and what did you do?

Was there some hobbies you had in common when you met?

No! We were both students and very young so basically shaggiing, dinking and smoking! We both gave up smoking a lng time ago and DH doesnt' really drink. No one passion or hobby has ever united us.

Oh, I see.
Have you discussed the problem with him. Is it something you can discuss?
We are younger and have been married shorter but dh and me sometimes have a similar problem. We actually had hobbies in common but gave one up for the children (because the hobby had a high risk of injury). Dh had to give if some hobbies because of various health issues.
We found some things we both enjoy however...which is in our case outdoor stuff. I first thought i did not like it but then I discovered I really do.

We haven’t really got a shared hobby either apart from watching TV which doesn’t really count. One of the things we enjoy is food and love eating out. Our DC are 14 and 15 now so we go out for a cheeky drink early on from time to time or a nice early meal out together which is lovely.
We also go out for walks together with our dog.
We tried joining the gym together but that didn’t last long.

We like to meal plan together, cook and eat together, go for walks together, do some chores together (we had to work on being able to work as a team as it doesn't come naturally but we are masses better than we used to be). Sometimes we find a boxed set we can watch together. Simple things.

Also I had some counselling which really helped improve communication between DP and me.

What about picking out some delicious looking recipes and cooking together? My husband and I do this and always have fun. A little wine, he chops some ingredients, I chop some, have some nice music playing. It would be good for your children to see you having fun together.

TV shows - I think that does count. It's a shared experience, something you can discuss afterwards. And meals out - we do like our food.

But other than that, and other than the DCs, we have very little in common - having met at work years ago, we now work in very different areas, and have very different interests. It really doesn't seem to matter.

@Hassled Just wondering which kind of programe you both enjoy. Dh seems to like different programes on TV me. I think it is a bit of a gender thing.

We do have interests in common, but I'll be honest what we mainly do is cook, eat dinner, wash up and watch TV. And go to Lidl.

This plus the cats probably accounts for 95% of all our conversation

If you have similar moral and political views, then watching TV and talking about it can surely fill a bit of time?

Today I have told DH about some podcasts I listened to on the way to work and he has told me about some books he has been reading. And I've read out some Mumsnet to him. It's the cutting edge of intellectual conversation here

We have not been together as long and have no children. We don’t particularly have shared hobbies as such. He likes sport both watching and playing, I really am not interested. I’m a massive reader and he rarely picks up a book.

He likes to walk and hike, that was never really me but I do enjoy a nice gentle walk somewhere scenic so we go out and about to different places for walks with our dog. We’ve been extending them lately because I want to be fitter and would like to join him on more serious walks occasionally so we’ve started going out to the hills a bit and, whilst I’m sure it’s still a light stroll for him (and the dog!) it’s pushing me and I feel like I’m working towards something.

I love the theatre, he’s less fussed but comes to some plays with me when we can afford it - I’ve not managed to get him into the musicals (my true passion) yet, though he does enjoy a bit of Strictly on the sly so I do feel it’s in him to enjoy a few jazz hands one day

Other than that we will cook together, and we watch box sets - don’t always like the same TV but there’s that much choice now we can always find something to enjoy together. We’re saving at the moment so there’s not been much going out this year but we do like going out to eat or for a few drinks.

AnnaMagnani Oh god yes Lidl - that’s probably our main shared interest! If one of us goes without the other we will bring home ‘the book’ for shared perusal of upcoming themed weeks and associated deals. We’re a right laugh us two.

We like watching tv/boxsets and walking the dog together.
Lots of conversation to be had about the above, DS and each other's work/hobbies/current news.

Lidl

Shagging is always a winner.

We like a little gamble- a game of cards or a trip to bingo

Me and my husband don’t really have much in common, he’s very career driven, we like different TV shows/film genres no hobbies we both like he’s into his art and running but we both rub along nicely and it gives us lots to talk about when we are together. We both love dogs before the kids came along there was nothing better than a long morning walk talking about our life’s when the kids grow up it’s what I’m looking forward to again, big hikes with a dog chatting for hours about our separate life’s!

Lives*

We go for walks , out for coffee or lunch, to the movies, a little bit of gardening especially in the Summer, and watch some TV. Since our DC were born we always sat and had a coffee together after dinner as the kids scampered off to play. We still do it 30 years later. Time to catch up on the day..work..kids etc.
I also do the gym and a few other things on my own as dh prefers to be at home.
We have been known to go to Lidl together but not often!!! We do go to DIY stores and furniture stores though.

Yes, Lidl. What week is it (Spanish week good, American week bad), what's in the middle, do we suddenly and urgently need an arc welder? Detailed analysis of the Wine Tour. Have we had these random biscuits before and if so, did we like them?

Endless source of quality chat.

Today I have told DH about some podcasts I listened to on the way to work and he has told me about some books he has been reading. And I've read out some Mumsnet to him. It's the cutting edge of intellectual conversation here

^^thank you for this

DH & I are together 22 years. We don't have any shared hobbies as such but we both have the same sense of humour and like a lot of the same music. We always find something to chat about. I actually think it's nice to have separate hobbies, something that's just for you. As long as you still love each other, that's all you need really.

What about a pub quiz? I go to an interactive one that makes it more fun the the standard paper ones and its something we started doing together so is 'our thing'.
Bike rides, walks on the beach, dog walks, casino, we even go to the arcade sometimes as we both enjoy it we watch a lot of crime investigation documentaries, that always gives you something to talk about.
We go out for food a lot; tea during the week and breakfast on the weekends