'Not one drop of my self-worth is dependent on your acceptance of me'

[NorthernTart]

Quote from Quincy Jones. Do you agree? Trouble is, we're social animals & it does affect us when others think badly of us.

Totally agreed. As long as it's aligned with empathy, humility and the ability to apologise unreservedly when you fuck up.

It depends on who you are talking to though?

I could say that to my ex. I genuinely dont care if he accepts me or my decisions or not. I know I act in my children's best interests. He can judge whatever he likes about me and it doesnt impact me at all.

Totally agree. Not giving a fuck is very liberating.

Depends entirely on who the other person is. If my ex didn't accept me, I couldn't give two fucks. If my kids didn't, I'd be shattered. Other people would come somewhere in between those two extremes. And I'm sure that Mr Jones would also have reservations , depending on who the other person was.

It’s a statement of self love. I don’t need your approval as I already approve of myself. As pp states as long as this is aligned with humility it’s a very desirable state.

Interesting to contemplate a world full day f people like this. Make up and fashion would be purely for creativity and self expression rather than trying to be acceptable or good enough. Cars would just be vehicles to get from a to b, not to show how much we’ve achieved. We’d decorate our houses to suit our tastes not what we see in aspirational magazines or adverts.
Basically advertising and consumerism wouldn’t work.

I do need other people to like me though, as nice as not giving a care might be.

Agree with Birdie

But what a great throwaway line.

I have been with my DH for 30 years, in our first proper argument I said to him, I don't know who you think I am, but I know who I am and I know my self worth and I will not be spoken to like that.

He still quotes it all these years later.

I did a 180 from being someone with no self worth who was totally dependent on others acceptance, to pretty much the opposite, through a therapeutic process.

I learned that others value us on how we value ourselves predominantly. As I changed, so did the way others saw me and treated me. And if they didn't, I just walked away with my head held high. No trying to desperately convince them they were wrong.

Life's a lot better now. I learned to accept myself and that's been my best life lesson really.