Hi, im new here and looking for a bit if advice,m/second opinion.
My fiancee and I have been together nearly 8 years. We have a 4yo and are expecting our 2nd in September. We also own our own home.
Lately we have been arguing non-stop. Mainly about silly things but mostly about money. In October he quit his well paid job because he had a disagreement with a manager and said he hated the job anyway. This obviously put a massive strain on everything. Finances and our relationship. He didn’t have another job to walk into. Luckily his friend offered him a labouring job, which was nice but a massive reduction in pay, and work wasn’t at all regular (still isn’t) so was earning considerably less. He doesn’t then want to give me any money towards bills, childcare costs, petrol, food etc. He does because i nag him as it has to be fair.
He smokes weed, at first before our so was born it was only occasionally. Over the years its turned into every day, 1st thing in the morning, in the day and before bed. This obviously doesn’t help our money situation and he refuses to quit.
Hes told me on numerous occations he doesnt love me anymore, wants to leave, wants something new. Called me a fat and ugly troll (im a size 10/12 after having my baby boy) then a day later he’s apologised and tells me he loves me he just gets mad and lists 1000 things he hates about me and get annoyed about.
Let me just be honest as well, i do everything. From the care of our son, to earning the most at work, paying/organising the bills, cleaning the house, washing etc food shops.
Anyway, all the bad stuff, he never used to be that way. Things have gradually gotten worse since after having my son. He doesnt handle stress very well. He can become aggressive, he gets mad and can throw/break things.
I think he has depression. He will not listen to me. Blames me for how he is. Shall i just leave sell my house and raise my kids, or if hes willing try and support him through allthis and get him doctors.
Today we were going to see our friends who just had a baby. I emptied the cat litter this morning and the bin was trapped behind the car so i put the bag on top of the bin (tied up) and he went crazy. Stormed off took my car and son to our friends, left me stranded at home and called me a scruff. I told him about me not getting in because if the car but it’s apparently all excuses.
At my wits end.