New guy, not sure it's going anywhere?

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Met someone OLD a couple of months ago.
Not sure if I should end things on these basis ?
Advice please !!!! I like him but not sure it's enough so what do you think please?
He lives at home with his mum and ' can't afford to move out' so not that we are in a position to think about that but how can you live at home and not have a clue about bills
(I'm in rented and have a lo)
But I work, can afford to pay my bills and have a decent lifestyle
He seems a little 'tight' with his money
That might be the wrong word but my ex's in the past, friends, family have never felt a bit ' worried ' when we go out or he comes over
He doesn't seem to realise how costly things are
He always comes to mine as going to his isn't an option as not ready to meet parents etc just yet
Also he hasn't met lo so we just see each other weekends and a night in the week at the moment which works (for me)
He's already said wants to meet lo but that means he will want to stay over for long weekends etc and that's not going to happen until I've got to know him
He doesn't seem to understand things life finances
He has a loan and credit card but doesn't know the apr ? Doesn't know where his excess money goes ?
He's 30 but seems like ok dating a teenager !
He also wants to have sex for hours and to begin with I did but after a couple of months it's getting boring and tiring!
He's likes his late nights and I don't
I feel he has no idea about stresses in life that I have
Unfortunately I went through a marriage, divorce, horrible break up with an ex (happy place now) but I feel a bit scared and wary to invite someone new in my life and he's just so keen and eager
Sorry for the long post
Just don't know if it's worth continuing or not?
I'm seeing him later
I've seen so many posts similar lately (my first time posting ) someone in early stages but a post I've just read someone feels the sparks gone after 5 years
Different circumstances to mine
But if I'm feeling this now, is this right?
I feel mean and my friends can't see where I'm coming from as they think he's nice as they hated my ex
So found this site and hoping I can get some advice
Tia

Sounds exactly like my ex husband who was rubbish with money and a total constant sex pest. It was intolerable in the end. You really can and should do better than this man. Sorry but he sounds awful.

Oh god really? Yeah I keep thinking it's not about the money as such but you need to be able to be financial stable to move forward in life I think x

Well it doesnt sound like youre a good match. Thats enough to end it.

If he cant afford to move out he might either be shit with money or just poor. If the latter then thats why he is tight (being "tight" is a necessity if youre skint). Does he work full time? If he earns similar to you in the same area (and you dont get any relief on your rent or tax credits etc) then you know he is shit with money as you are managing fine.
Again APR thing could be "I cant remember its variable. I know how to find out and check it now and again" or being shit with money.

If he is shit with money run for the hills.

How does his dick not hurt after hours of sex? Ow.

I just want to have a fun happy content life !
Want me be lo to be happy
Yes I would like to meet someone who I can introduce lo to
But not sure I have a future with this one
I'm late 30's and don't want to date or mess around but I'm equally happy to be on my own than be with the wrong person
I've been single a good 8months and have built myself back up and lo is happier than ever
I want holidays and days out
And just a nice lifestyle nothing major
I can find my lifestyle bills and treats etc but since being with him he's paid for stuff as I have but I don't feel ' treated' does that make me sound bad? I almost feel a bit out of pocket at the weekend he comes over if that makes sense? I obviously pay my way but because I get food in etc he just doesn't get that it all costs coz his mum does the shopping (he pays rent and contribute to her but completely different when you're a single mum I feel)
He pays when we go out don't get me wrong but I also say I'll get this here and there and he's like oh great then at mine I cook, make drinks etc and he's like Ohhh lovely
Just feels like we are already further down the line I guess ?!
But as I say never had this with my ex or this feeling
It's not im not ready as I feel I am but I'm doubting him even though he is nice so I also feel a bit awful if I'm honest

@Johngon yeah I do get Tax credits but I earn too much for anything else like housing benefit etc
It's tight but I do manage and I'm careful with my money and budget
He works full time is on an ok salary - wouldn't know what is good or bad - he's on 25k?
My salary is 20k so fairly decent for my role i would say
I busy a gut to do my hours and school run etc but as I say I manage
It's just his outlook to life and about money. I find it unattractive 😬

And it does hurt him he said and he gave me thrush ! So I've said to calm that down ! Just don't wanna be having these chats so early on!!

He's a teenager. At 30 he should want to be independent, but it sounds as though he's happy living with his mum and then having you cook for him and clean up and have sex with him once or twice a week. It would be like having a very big, very expensive child living with you.

The fact he's tight just makes everything so much worse.

whitepink

What are you getting out of this relationship?

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.

I would seriously look into raising your relationship bar a lot higher now because at the moment its far too low. That is also how this bloke managed to inveigle his way into your life. And now he wants to meet your child. No.

I have yet to come across a man living with his mother that is also able to have a healthy relationship with a girlfriend. Therefore I would end this relationship and tell him its no longer working for you.

This current individual apparently cannot afford to move out. Fact is, he likes living with his mother and it suits him to do so. He is saving himself a fortune by doing this but seems tight with money when he is with you. Clearly living at home has it’s financial benefit as they don’t spend as much as they would if they had to be self-sufficient and they convince themselves that relationships are ‘expensive’.

I also think he finds you attractive because you are a single parent; some men target single mothers because they think they are so desperate for male company that they would put up with any old crap. Like you are experiencing now.

Better to be on your own than to be so badly accompanied.

He sounds like very hard work and someone who never wants to leave his teenage years behind! A couple of months and you feel bored already isn't a good sign. Get rid!

It's supposed to be fun. It sounds a bore and not right for you, so dump him.

You are not compatible, personality and stage of life-wise.
He comes across as a man-child.
End the relationship.

Not a good match.

When you find the right one it'll be easy.

I have been single for eleven years (except shit dates). Met Mr Right a couple of months ago and it's just DIFFERENT. I just know.

Ditch him and find the right one.

"he just doesn't get it*

At 30 he should know. When you have had a bad relationship the next can feel better but still doesn't mean it is right for you.

Make a list of the characteristics you want in a partner.. I would say kindness and empathy have to high up there but also being an independent adult, otherwise you will have 2 children.

I don't like the double standards, you can't meet his parents but he wants to meet your child. Parents can cope with meeting new partners but you rush introductions to little children.

I think you need to value yourself, at a minimum date someone at the same independence level. It really is a basic requirement or else you are just going to be acting like his mum.

• you don't rush introductions to children.

Bloody hell, the spark isn't meant to go at a couple of months! But I can totally see why.

You are not suited at best, and he's a manipulative loser at worst.

Please head to Dumpsville ASAP, OP xx

I thought I was going to read that he’s 22, by his age I’d expect him to have a gripe on his finances. I’m wondering if you’ll end up looking after him to be honest.

Yeah Im sure he does want to stay over for long weekends, he has a very cushy life with you and his mother to take care of all the bills and boring life crap. Wannabe cocklodger alert.

Thanks everyone for your replies
He was here the weekend and it was ok...I mean we went out for a meal Saturday and then the Sunday he said shall we stay in and cook Sunday to save money.... 🙄

So what are you going to do about it?

I'm being a wimp
Even had a conversation about how I feel...think I'd rather be friends how I'm feeling atm

Text him

"Dear fella, following on from our conversation at the weekend - this isn't really working for me. You're a nice guy and all, but we're not on the same page in life. I wish you well, ta ra and all the best".

Exactly that! Don't waste any more time