Feel sad about no parental help

[MrsDumpty]

I know this is a topic that comes up a lot but my DD is almost 2 and I haven't been able to get over having almost no parental support.

My parents divorced a few years ago, my mother and I are NC (after years of issues) and anyway she lives abroad. My dad is elderly. My PILs are in some ways lovely (generous, warm) but lazy - just after DD was born we stayed with them for a few weeks (because I had a CS + complications and DH was very busy at work). My MiL announced straight up she wouldn't be doing any nappies - that's fine, I wouldn't expect her to, but she also wouldn't even hold DD for a few minutes so I could shower while DH was at work. Instead she busied herself with lunch dates, manicures, massages etc. These days she has a bit more interest in DD but never enough to join us in the park or offer to babysit.

I had an extremely tough time with DD, who wouldn't bf, and the first few months were extremely dark, especially without my own mum by my side. DD also didn't sleep until she was about 18 months. By then we had childcare but even now when I see an older woman pushing a pram with her daughter by her side I want to well up because I never had that. Sometimes I feel so alone without any maternal support, especially when we're all ill, like at the moment, and I just want someone to bring us soup and take care of us.

Just wondering if there's anyone else who understands?

I'm sorry you're feeling like this . It seems that your DH is always too busy at work - to be honest, he is the one who is letting you down. Many people have parents who are absent / don't care, but there isn't any point in blaming them . Your DH is the one I'd be looking at, since you've mentioned that he "was busy at work" when you gave birth and now 2 years later ,he is still apparently too busy.

You say you feel sad without any parental help, but the help of your husband is what is really lacking in this picture. He needs a lesson in caring for his family, from what I'm reading here.

Hi Birdie, thanks for the response. Tbh DH is very good with DD - much better than I am in fact. He often works from home so is around a lot, does bedtime and bath time with her (often dinner too), has more patience with her especially during tantrums. (He's no saint tho - he does almost no housework).

But we're both constantly run ragged (I also have a chronic endocrinological disorder and work part time) and our relationship has suffered.

Sounds to me as if you need an intervention.
Can you afford a cleaner once a week?
Can you afford a half day's nursery fee for baby to give you a morning/afternoon free to have some 'me time'?
If you haven't any parental support and for whatever reason, can't get your partner to step up, then you need to find a practical solution that gives you a break from the relentless routine that you're in.