Asking him to leave please help

[Brightfuture2019]

So my partner finally went too far tonight in front of our daughter. (8) . I cannot stand this behaviour anymore, I've warned him he changed for a few days that was it. Drugs, lying, not helping out with money, disappearing at weekends. We've been together 13 years. I've been awake since one when he verbally abused me scared our daughter. I'm scared to death how to do this but I need to for both of us .

Can you have someone with you when you tell him to go? It can be a dangerous time for women.
What are your living arrangements? Is it your place? Is there anyone you could go to?

It's a rented house in my name. He is also a gambler so couldn't get credit. I think maybe if I have someone it'll make it worse. I have all my family coming over later for a get together anyway. I need to do it first thing before I change my mind again. I've been unhappy for years. I've put up with this. It broke my heart today when my daughter said don't worry mum I will protect you.

Can you ring one of your family, tell them what is happening and ask them to arrive early. Then tell your ex that following his behaviour, he needs to leave, and ask for his key back.
He can pack a bag, and arrange to collect anything else later.
You are doing the right thing.

I'm so scared I'm sitting here shaking and worrying. I'm tired but can't sleep. I want this over. I'm scared for the future and what happens next.

Make sure you have family with you when you ask him to leave, for your own safety.

You’ll be absolutely fine. You are doing the right thing for you & dd.

Text a friend or family member you trust most and is most resourceful, and tell them what is happening.

Then get it over with. If your ex can spend weekends away then he obviously has somewhere to go.

Tomorrow you won’t need to walk on egg shells.

@seniorschoolmum. Thank you. I hope it's for the best..just want this dreaded anxiety to go away. He makes me feel physically ill when he comes home drunk every weekend. I never know what mood I'm going to get. I just know my DD will be crushed. It's going to be so hard.

You TELL him to leave, you don't ask. This is your home. Please don't subject your daughter to one more day of this nightmare. Set a good example for her, please don't fail her. If he kicks off, you call the police to get him out. Get this over and done with.

Your anxiety will be gone when this piece of shit is out of your life.

@Aquamarine1029 I hope so .I've struggled with anxiety before and I just want to throw up right now.

I can only echo what the others have said
You can do this

You can and will ace this.

@Brightfuture2019 you got this girl! 💪🏻💪🏻
It's for the greater good.....your daughter will proud to have a strong mama that takes no shit.

You need others there when you do it incase he kicks off. It's good the place is in your name. Get some family over, tell him to leave, be prepared to call the police if he gets abusive.

Change the locks immediately.

So I chickened out, I was so ready to do it but my anxiety got the better of me. I've never got this far before. I told him I was ready to quit on us and that my daughter is number one priority. It was her birthday so I didn't want to ruin it. He apologized but I don't think it really registered as he's missing again. How can I get stronger to do this

Get various family me,hers round, ask him for the key, kick him out. You and your dd deserve better. Do you want him having an influence over her for longer?

Speak to the NCDV. If he's being abusive towards you they can help you get an injunction to exclude him from the house for six to twelve months. You have to contact them within a few days of the event, though. It will allow you space to get yourself sorted.

If your daughter is your number one priority then you need to make him leave. You have a responsibility to her.

Deep breathe, plan carefully. Choose a Friday, maybe after school has broken up for the summer. Can you do it while your daughter is on a sleep over?

If you're scared of telling him, do it by text while he's out. After all you do not owe him anything. You do not owe him an explanation. You have every right to leave this asshole. Its your house in your name. Text him its over and you will be arranging to leave his stuff somewhere. Then ignore. Call the police if he kicks off.