Recent NC and will probably nc after this too.
Bit of background... married 3 years, together 6, 8 month old DS.
DH is the most self centered, moody git recently. Hes always been moody. He suffered from depression his whole life, he has also had addiction issues in the past. We used to have fun and a laugh amongst the hard bits of life but recently its just been same old down in the dumps.
We have both agreed we are in a rut with our evenings, (ds in bed, dinner, clean, tv) but when i tried to sort something to switch it up a bit (games night) i was met with "we have no money because you spend it all". Note: i am on mat leave and 'spend it all' on food shopping we need and a trip to the shop each day, Maybe a car park cost of im going to meet my mum. We get paid today and ive been told that its already all accounted for. Its not. Hes happy to spend on my credit card when its something for him but when its my suggestion its a no.
He comes home from work, moans about the fact others are staying behind to finish work while hes had to come home to 'save me' from DS. He has been told i dont need saving and to stay on but he says he misses DS too much at bedtime. Moans about doing any tidying up. Yesterday did the washing up and complained he never gets thanked for it. I told him i dont get thanks for running around after DS all day. He said thats my job, im his mum. I said the washing and tidying was also his jobs because he also lives here. He didnt have a reply to that (just to confirm, my comment was to make a point, i dont expect or want any thanks for parenting my own child).
Makes snide comments all the time. If i complain about anything, he has it worse. Im due back at work next month and dont like my colleagues and the company is financially struggling so im obviously anxious about it and im told theres nothing we can do to change it so get over it.
He has 5 days off after today and im dreading it. I tried to plan some things and ive been told we dont have the money. We do. He wants money to last all month and is fed up of it running out at the end. Tells me not to spend it at the start of the month. I tell him that if i dont get the things we need at the start then it gets frittered away and we dont get anything at all. He agrees then says hes fed up of feeling skint. Argument then goes in circles.
Ive thought about how long this can realistically go on for. I cant bite my tongue my whole life. But i dont want to give up on our marriage and him.
We dont do much seperately since DS was born so we both agreed we need a hobby. I went out for 1 hour the other night for a sunbed and a trip to tesco and got home to be greeted with " why were there no sterile bottles?" And "he was such hard work" so i felt guilty. We agreed he would go back to his hobby of playing darts. He says he will do it but he also said that when we moved here 2 years ago. He says he will do stuff so i get excited thinking i might have an evening to do my thing in the house then he doesnt do it. What can i do?! I dread him coming home and the weekends because hes so miserable. We were meant to be going away this weekend with my larents but we arnt because he doesnt like how they are with DS. I get they can be over baring a bit but its a free holiday for godsake. The fact i wanted to go wasnt even considered. What can i do to get us back on track?