Why do I feel like I'm settling?

[ventoelynneinnhaylaw]

I'm young, kid free, and working in a big city. I have had the same dp for 3 years, and he's the first person that I ever dated, we met at uni.
He's smart, ambitious, handsome, and oh so lovely. I'm a lucky woman. People comment on how cute and good we are together.

However.... Why do I feel like I'm settling?

I am hugely ambitious, whereas I feel dp just wants to settle for the nice quiet middle class life. I'm much more of a career woman. Money is a big ambition for me, and I'm often attracted to guys with nice flats and good jobs. I know that sounds shallow, but it's just how I'm wired.

I don't know what to do. Break up with a man I love in order to fish the pool and see what else is out there before settling down? What if I never find something as good?

I know how hugely selfish this is all sounding.

It kinda just scares me, that this may be "it".

Go with your gut. If you feel like you're settling then a life with him probably isn't what you truly want.

Its not selfish. Its ok. Live your life and reach your potential!

It’s female hypergamy - wanting to partner with someone that has more money/social status than you. You’re young, successful, ambitious, etc. so there’s always a question of whether you could “do better.” Maybe you can, maybe you can’t. It’s a risk.

It depends on what your goals are. Are you more concerned about money/success than, say, marriage? If so, maybe your boyfriend won’t be good enough. But if you want stable, loving, long-term relationship, you have it and should nurture it. If you’re not going to appreciate the wonderful man you are with, let him go so someone else can.

It sounds like you will regret not playing the field a bit more before you settle down. It isn't unusual for people to grow apart from their first boyfriend.

Young, kid free, high flyer.......randomly on Mumsnet 😂👍🏼

nc100