Need some advise.... please!!!!!

[Sunflower2019]

I’ve been with my partner a year, he’s younger than I. We are really good together. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’ve always come out stronger.
Although we are in love ive always felt something’s not right, I think it’s because he’s uncertain deep down.
I want to settle down and have a family etc, he says because he loves me he’d do this for me although it wouldn’t be an ideal time for him..

Earlier I asked him what he was scared of I life he said...

Dying and wasting time with the wrong person, he said he ‘thinks I’m the one’ but he said how can he be sure?

It really upset me as made me feel he wasn’t having doubts...

Am I being stupid?

Younger as in, he's 35 and you're 36
Or he's 23 and you're 41?

If he's on the older end, then I'd think he's a non- committer

If he's still early 20's, then settling down is a massive step.

Either way, a year seems a bit soon?

He’s 22 I’m 30, I don’t mean marriage and kids right now but I mean I want a serious relationship.. I don’t want to waste my time with someone who’s unsure.. x

At 22 I didn’t want children neither at 30- you are at different life stages

The age difference isn't an issue at all, so long as you're both on the same page. The two of you are clearly not. At your age, given you definitely want children, I wouldn't waste any more time. What if 4, 5 more years goes by and he reveals that he's decided he doesn't want children? You would be in a horrible situation then.

He's very young to be settling down and he obviously has doubts. You either stick it out and wait for him to be ready or move on.

22 is pretty young ....

Dont tie him down at 22, he has to be sure himself, so listen to what he's saying, dont make him make that sacrifice as he will only resent you.

What do you plan I do?

I don’t want to tie him down but if he’s wanting a relationship with me and won’t let me go, how do I have the life I also want whilst being with him?

He is too young to settle down with anyone, generally adults don't mature til 27,28 so you are at different life stages.

He needs at least another 5 years but is that right for you? Also a year is nothing, wait until you have been together 2 years at least.

However I think you need to let him go if you want children.

He’s letting you know he loves you but he doesn’t want to commit forever, he’s not ready, and he has begun the process of both of you realising that you just aren’t in the same place with this. I’m afraid - even if he says he wants to stay with you and loves you - he is also telling you his truth: he’s not ready. He may not be for years. He’s very, very young.

Sorry OP. So tough

Break up with him and move on.

Jesus. As much as I thought I was grown up at 22 I was a kid. He doesn't know what he wants, hence the Ill settle down and have children for you....That's a great idea.

Move on. Let him enjoy being 22 and stop wasting your own time too because it flies by and 5 years later your getting on and he's still not ready and you break up

I'm in the leave him camp.
He is 22 and sounds it! Good for him.
Also your statement about what if he won't let me go! It's not up to him!
Don't waste your time. So many people struggle with infertility.
Look for someone on the same page as you before you waste years with different objectives and then break up anyway.

He's very young and settling down probably isn't on his radar but you are the marrying and kids average kind of age (last time I looked at stats so could be wrong).
He's told you you're good enough until he finds "the one" which is quite insulting isn't it? At 22 I wouldn't expect anyone to be settling down. It's so young. Some do, I know, but it is young. By the time he's ready and not found someone he prefers you'll be in your mess fettle and clock ticking loudly years. Don't waste your life on someone for whom you are ok for now. Find someone who is on the same page. He's not even on the same book section, not even the same chapter.
You deserve better than a mr maybe or mr some day. 30 hits hard I found. I was supposed to be grown up and settled with my career and family all rosy before me. Pfft. I look back now and wish I'd waited for someone decent to come along instead of thinking my exH was my only chance at marriage and family.

He may not "want to let you go" but you'll never have the life you want if you remain so passive about getting it. He's 22 and quite reasonably not feeling ready to make a lifetime commitment, if you are then it's time for you to move on and stop pressuring him. You might get him to commit now but if you do then it is likely you will both regret it in the future. Neither of you is wrong, you just want different things at this stage in your lives.

22 is too young to settle if he's questioning it. Sorry, OP.

He is too young to settle down at 22. An age gap is ok if you are at the same stage but at 30 you are looking to settle down - would you have wanted to settle down at 22?