Difference between types of Emotions

[Angel54321]

I'm really confused and i'm hoping you can help.

What is the difference between "Crying, Being Upset, Moody, Being Reserved, Not talking at all, Talking loudly, Angry, Shouting, Screaming, Slamming or throwing things, Insulting words, Rage, Belittling, Talking down at someone etc" - are these not all emotions?

Why are some of the above acceptable to a certain degree whilst some really aren't? Why do we categorise some and not the other. Is there a right or wrong?

Umm. Crying, belittling someone, talking down to them, or ignoring them, arent feelings - they are actions (perhaps as a consequence of an emotion?) in fact for me, I think most of the things you listed are someone’s actions, not emotions.

Emotions would be, for instance, frustration, sadness, anger, disappointment, joy... and you might act in varying ways due to those.

Actions are considered good or bad I guess based on the impact they have on other people. So belittling someone is unkind, directly impacts someone else and potentially abusive, whereas crying is an expression of a feeling that in itself doesn’t bring harm to the other person.

Does that help? Why do you ask?

I ask because when my Husband says something I cry, go quiet, be reserved etc and this upsets him and when we try to talk about it it starts of calm but he tends to get angry and starts to swear shout belittle and insult me and than says its crying and getting angry are emotions so if I'm allowed to cry why is he not allowed to get angry...he says i cry and he gets angry they are both the same thing... I just don't understand

Oh and he says .e crying does hurt him because he loves me.

What sorts of thing is he saying to make you cry/shut down?

I think you know that he is messing with your head and manipulating you here, or you wouldn’t be confused.. that’s your brain telling you what’s right, against what he says. it’s called gaslighting.

It’s not okay to get angry and belittle someone and insult them, and on a long term basis that is emotional abuse.

He's obviously not just saying something innocuous for you to react with tears or withdrawing - he must be saying something unpleasant or critical.

Your list of words is irrelevant, as it sounds like you are in a bad relationship with an emotional abuser and gaslighter.
Realisation is dawning, I hope.
Good luck and best wishes, OP.

I think everyone understands this in their own way.

He's regressed, i.e. turned into a little boy. Something about how you interact takes him back to his childhood - and it is in no way your responsibility to deal with his reaction to it. That's his responsibility.

But, really - any man who told me that he's only shouting because I'm crying wouldn't last a second longer than the time it took for him to pack his bags and leave.

Me crying is usually because we've had a disagreement I'm feeling quiet emotional and I've walked away and he has made a comment like "oh here we go get in to a tantrum" which sets me off or during an argument hes being very critical about the disagreement and putting me down and I walk away and cry... when we try to reconcile after some time if explain to him him being critical in the tone he was or the choice of words made me feel sad and he would try to explain that it's an emotion just like it's an emotion when I cried so why is it not ok for him to raise his voice/be critical but I'm allowed to cry or be withdrawn.

Some are emoticons, some are expressions of emotions. It’s perfectly acceptable to get angry occasionally - it’s not ok to express that anger by belittling, insulting, screaming, throwing things etc. Those are abusive behaviours. Regardless, you are clearly being treated badly.

Op, you’re in an abusive situation. Someone who liked you doesn’t try to make you feel worse when you’re upset.someone who likes you tries to see the best in you, believes what you’re saying, supports you , is on you’re side.

You don’t have to live like this. You could be with someone who finds you delightful and cares enough to put your feelings first some of the time.

Wouldn't I be doing the same when I explain to him that I didnt like how he made me feel?

he would also at this point try to explain what made him angry and annoyed. How am I any different to him?

Don't try to reason with an abusive twat. It can't be done. He won't see your side of things ever. Just leave him and move on with your life.

You explain to him. You don't yell at him or belittle him. There is a huge difference between explaining something reasonably and yelling and being nasty. That is the difference between conversation and abuse.