I feel so lost and hopeless. I've been so sick the last 6 months, a long term neurological condition that's taken a turn for the worse. DH has continued his usual minimal contribution at home. We have very young DC, 2 with SEN. I do all the nights, the early mornings. Until the last couple weeks I was working much longer hours with the kids then DH at work and he'd still sleep in because he was tired while I got up in horrible pain 6 mornings a week after being up with kids at night. He goes on about how supportive he is and how much he's given up for us, but I've had bugger all support the last 2 years. B
In the last few months DH has gotten really angry a couple times, in a way that I found scary. Now being around him and doing certain things round the home triggers my anxiety. I feel sick with anxiety when he's around. But he hasn't done anything that I could get him bared from the house. I can't work currently and on what I'd be entitled to (not in UK) I can't afford to move out until we split our assets. It would be a struggle financially but doable long term, no idea how I'd parent alone when I'm so sick. I bounce between fear he'd want 50/50 which is common here and worry he'd want minimal contact. Plus we'd have to seperate under one roof and I expect he'd make that really horrible. I can't see a way forward. I feel completely trapped.
Even without the anger I can't stand how he treats the kids. Saying DS was stupid because he tried to wee standing up and missed the toilet. Shushing the kids constantly or saying shut it. Swearing around them, pick up your shit, fucking shut up. Rare but getting worse. Threatening to smack or pinch the kids. I hate it, I think it's a horrible way to treat them. He thinks they need more discipline aka smacking then they'd behave. We're completely incompatible as parents. I have anxiety and so does one of our DC and DH doesn't really believe in MH issues. He thinks you should just get over them, though he's spent the last 2 years taking his work stress out on me.
I know staying is unworkable but then I look at my abilities as someone whose sick and disabled with young DC and I look at the support I'd be entitled too with government benefits and child support and I don’t see how I can make that scenario work either. I've been taking tiny steps when I can, but being so sick the last 2 weeks and struggling then finding out today what I'd be entitled too, how little it is has made me feel hopeless.