Are these comments ok?

[shattereddreamsforever]

Not sure but would be grateful for your thoughts . Biy friend of six months , when asked if he was happy , said he was, as he felt accepted and could be who he is , rather than having to put on an act. No demands placed on him etc.
For contact, this man makes all the decisions , decides when/ where the couple are meeting, what they're doing and at his very own( snails) pace .
I think he is odd from having spent time with them in a celebration situation .
She is my goddaughter and he is her boyfriend. My goddaughter felt thrilled with this response . I was horrified . She is 22. I am late forties so I could be an old fuddy duddy about it.
Thanks in advance

It's her boyfriend by the way and she confides in me

My now DH said the same thing, it was a positive in our relationship, but he wasn't controlling. I think the behaviour you describe but not the comment are more a problem.

I am protective over her . She has had a hard life. Her boyfriend would charm the knickers off a nun but his ACTIONS are what worry me a bit. He is good deal older... 8 years, he does his own thing . Calls her when he wants to meet her , decides where and when. Everything else seems to take priority but t she always fits in. She is completely head over heels for him .his exact works were. That he can't believe he has met someone who accepts him for exactly who he is and allows him to live his life as he wants .

Am I being totally overprotective here??

I'm a believer in gut feelings so if he sets you're alarm bells ringing I'd watch out for him. Not that she will listen if she's that in love.

He's telling her that he's happy because she lets him do X,Y,Z without complaint. But he's also making sure she's aware that if she stops doing that, he will no longer be happy. He's manipulating her. It sounds like he's reeling her in, keeping her in her place, and controlling her - if not right now, then probably in the future. If I was in your position, I would be concerned. That said, I had a sibling who married someone entirely unsuitable. The entire family warned them, but they wouldn't have it. Instead, we were all cut off. When the relationship ended (after more than a decade) they came running back, totally different for being free.

All you can do is tread carefully so that she still confides in you. Perhaps very subtlety try to show her the right way to be treated, whether it's pointing out the positives in other people's relationships, or gently nurturing her to expect more from a partner. But it must be judgement free, or she could turn from you and leave you unable to support her.

I never thought it was a bad as that. He seems to be very attentive towards her and mildly protective but through innocent conversation she is boasting about how happy she is that he is so happy to find someone like her. I.e. by being passive in the relationship, he gets his needs met . I am fiercely protective of her so it will be hard to hold my tongue but you are right .., be a support . I just hope she will not need it