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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Family occasion DH ex

4 replies

extrafirm · 30/05/2019 07:44

Just looking for advice:

There's a DH family occasion coming up soon and I have - from social media - found out that DH's ex before me - whom he will not speak much about - remains in contact with his sister. The ex will not be at the family occasion however her best friend will be as she is friends with DH sister, who has invited her along.

My point in all this is that nothing was said to me, I found out from social media posts. And when I mentioned that SIL was bringing friends along he said nothing despite me showing him the post - so he knew who it was. Then when I said "ooh it's your ex's friend" he claimed he didn't know. When speaking about it further he told me he had met this girl once.... and that he didn't mention anything to me because he thought I'd never find out!

I've tried to tell him that I don't care who this person is, that I have no issue with his ex etc but that the issue is he's not been upfront and combined with him getting quite agitated when anything to do with his ex is mentioned - and I mean even in passing, when discussing anything trivial or light-hearted - that's what's made me feel... well unsettled.

Also from stuff that he's now said it's clear he has discussed this friend with his sister some time ago, so I feel like things have been said behind my back. And I don't understand why this friend has been invited to a very small family occasion.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 30/05/2019 08:09

How long ago did your DH and his ex break up?

LetsSplashMummy · 30/05/2019 09:07

I think you are BU, you are making a drama out of a non event. This woman is there as SILs friend, not as DH's ex's friend.

How do you even know she's friends with his ex? If it's through FB stalking and the like, then you are way over invested. Perhaps DH just draws a line under things, that's not the same as actively hiding things from you.

The only way this is going to be awkward is if you keep going on about it, leave it alone and try to enjoy the event.

ZestyMaximus · 30/05/2019 15:09

So your husband's, ex'es, friend is going to be there?

And?

The only way this is going to be awkward is if you keep going on about it, leave it alone and try to enjoy the event.

^ This

somethingsgottogive · 30/05/2019 15:18

Have I got this right...
your husbands ex's friend is coming to the occasion not the ex herself ?

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