Dreaming about DH hurting me

[TheMoistvonlipwig]

I have occasional reoccurring dreams about my DH (and sometimes not my DH - just a faceless male) pinning me down and poking me really hard in the ribs, back, under the arms. Not jabbing but sort of really hard painful tickling although it's not in a tickling context it's in confrontational angry way.

In my dream I freeze but he continues and I get flash backs of the dreams when I'm awake where the pain and feeling of helplessness/panic is really intense and it leaves me feeling really confused.

I have been with my DH over 10 years, he's never done this to me or been violent with me. Our relationship is better than ever at the moment now out DDs are both school aged and things are getting easier. At the moment theres no recent conflict that would explain last nights dream. My dad and my brother used to tickle me as a child and it was sometimes painful and made me panic but not to the extent of my dreams. Has anyone else had this dream?

I've not had that dream but sometimes they can be a sign of something happening subconsciously.

Dreams are often not at all what they seem. They operate in code. It's not about your husband at all. The sense of panic and being trapped might be the key - however general anxiety dreams are quite normal. Perversely they might be about wanting to be trapped or 'caught' on some level?? Perhaps you are a little afraid of the current freedoms and calm waters.

My partner and I split after 21 years. During the painful breakup process he finally told me about dreams he'd been having for some years - of him hanging himself. They left him depressed and frightened. He'd never told me because - why? I don't know - perhaps he knew I would be able to decipher them. Dreaming about death is usually a profound need for change. In this case very painful and difficult change. If he'd told me I would have known we were coming to an end.

Do you have that dream when you are not with him? If you sleep somewhere else?

Thanks for the replies. Pickle - good question, I work nights so often have the bed to myself and have had the dream then. I've told my husband about it and he just shrugs and says "I've never done that to you!" Which is true. He's not really one for dwelling on the meaning of dreams.

I do get anxious in general but it's usually about measuring up to expectations and social situations rather than anything to do with my relationship. Maybe it's just that manifesting itself, it's strange that it takes the form of aggressive tickling though.

I find due to the dream I tense up when anyone tickles my DDs (which they love) and tend to get short tempered about it. I realise this is my issue though and try very hard not to ruin their fun.

Rosa - your exDHs dream must have been really worrying for him and much more obvious as to the meaning. I hope you are both doing ok now after your breakup.

I have unpleasant dreams- often where I tell my nearest and dearest exactly what I think of them (😱). I wake up all adrenalised and miserable.

I'm with you about ticking by the way.

I may be shot down for this, but I don't personally believe that dreams have a lot of significance. For me, it's just all the random crap that my brain has been gathering over the course of the day or week, jumbled up and thrown back out in a form that makes very little sense. Perhaps if I'm worried or stressed about, say, a journey that I have to make in the near future, I might start having dreams where I keep missing my train. It's not always that obvious, but I certainly do dream more, and more vividly, when I have a lot on my mind.

I'm inclined to agree with your husband somewhat. Dwelling on dreams is not necessarily useful, especially if it's making you anxious during the day and affecting how you feel about people interacting with your children.

Can you pinpoint any common factors with the times you're having these dreams? Any worries or events? Do they coincide with certain times of your monthly cycle? Even anything you might have eaten that you don't normally? Just to be clear, I'm not trying to minimise how horrible a bad dream can make you feel - I can feel disturbed for a while after I've had one. I do feel like it's a mistake to dig around for a deeper meaning that may not even exist though.

My sentiments too GracieMarks. People have been trying to work out the meaning of dreams since prehistory, without success. They are essentially random.

I'd argue that the process of deciphering dreams is where the insights come. So a 'what dreams mean' handbook is useless. Mulling over which area of your life is out of balance can be much more fruitful.

DS1 has a recurring dream where he has to choose between his parents and his brother- the train is pulling out, the lift doors are closing etc. I can read all sorts into that, and with some insight and sensitivity support him and reduce the stress on him in ways which wouldn't occur to me if he hadn't told me the dreams.

It's his early warning system for getting stressed too!

Ime They aren't all random.

Maybe you need a new mattress.

I had a great one recently which was a mish-mash of things that are happening in the near future, plus some other stuff that's going on. There's no hidden meaning behind it, just my brain trying to sort some stuff out, but it was fascinating what storyline it managed to fit everything onto.

Last night's was rather more bizarre - I decided the students at my high school would love to hear DP speak about his life so we went for assembly, but then I decided to show them magic is real instead and had all sorts flying around. No idea where that all came from!

Do you perhaps feel like you need more personal space?
Odd one but every time my parents are due to visit for a few days (say one or two days before) I always dream that I need to pee and can't find a cubicle that has a door or find one but the gap at the bottom is too high so if I sat down, everyone outside would see xD My parents aren't good with personal space so I think that dream is saying 'get ready to have your boundaries pushed and prodded in your own home again.

Unless your house is haunted. Couldn't harm to get a bible out and bless the place lol.

sometimes the different aspects of your dream can be different aspects of a conflict you are experiencing in real life. You are - of course, cos it's your dream - both the person being held down & tickled, and the one doing the rather agressive tickling.
Reflecting on the dream and letting your intuition guide you can (sometimes) lead you to something that's on your mind, or that you are trying to work out.

I used to dream about my XH when we were together that he would go off with someone else and laugh at my distress.

It was some kind of premonition. Not precisely right but it was correct that I couldn't trust him. Not sure I believe in that shit.