Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

His breath is starting to offend me

33 replies

namechangecharlie · 28/05/2019 21:25

As harsh as this sounds, my boyfriend of 3 years breath is starting to become a real issue to me. Before this year, he was mostly fine, and let me add that he has no other hygeine issues - he spends a fortune on expensive aftershave, always smells gorgeous and I’m constantly on about how clean and fresh he is! However the breath has become really bad this past 6-12 months. Even after brushing his teeth, I can kind of smell something off. Sometimes I cringe when he’s in front of people I know in case they smell it.

Now and then I do ask if he’s brushed, or make an effort to be like “I’m going to brush my teeth now”, I constantly chew gum in hopes that he’ll ask for some! But I don’t think he realises there’s anything wrong. I’m surprised his mum or friends haven’t said anything.

Occasional bad breath I can deal with but this is a daily occurance now and it’s affecting my sexual attraction to him. How do I bring this up sensitively, or do you think there could be a dental or tonsil issue that he’s not noticed or something?! Helppppp!!

OP posts:
Needsomebottle · 28/05/2019 21:31

I'd like to think my partner of three years would tell me. And I'm sure he would too. I'm afraid there's no easy way to deal with it other than say it. But I'd perhaps not allude to the fact it's been going on for a while. Just say you've noticed it the last month or something. I know it's not easy and he will be mortified, as will you saying it but there could be a genuine health issue he needs to address.

I was a line manager for a number of years and had to tell several people they had BO. It's horrible to do, I never found a nice way to say it but I could never understand why people close to them didn't tell them. They must have been horrified to have their manager tell them. And then go home knowing loved ones probably noticed but didn't say anything. So as horrid as it is, I'd say it's far kinder to just bite the bullet and get him told. Sorry.

NoBaggyPants · 28/05/2019 21:32

If it's everyday and he is otherwise hygienic then he needs to seek medical advice. A pharmacist would be a good starting point, they can decide if a dentist or GP would be more appropriate.

It's a difficult issue to raise, but better to be honest than keep dropping vague hints. Any embarrassment is going to last a few minutes, in his position I'd be more upset you'd not said something sooner.

Nemesia1264 · 28/05/2019 21:38

Does he go to the dentist / hygienist regularly?

Original poster
namechangecharlie · 28/05/2019 21:38

Thank you for the replies so far - I’d like to add that on second thoughts, it’s probably not lasted longer than 5-6 months, not 12. It does feel like a very long time though!

I’d absolutely want to be told if it was me, although I’m a bit worried about him becoming defensive and offended. Small embarrassment over long-term humiliation I suppose! Blush I just don’t know the most sensitive way to say it - I know a lot of couples would be able to just say “your breath stinks” but I don’t have the balls lol.

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 28/05/2019 21:39

Tonsil stones and digestive problems can cause bad breath. Also is he flossing when he brushes?

You have two choices..

  1. Tell him gently
  2. Ask him if hes just eaten a dog shit sandwich

Personally I would go for number 1.

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 28/05/2019 21:41

If he's generally clean and brushes regularly, it could be a sign of illness or something not right with his teeth.

It sounds as if he cares about his appearance and personal hygiene so he probably does want to know, even if it makes him feel a bit bad to start with.

littlecabbage · 28/05/2019 21:43

After many bouts of tonsilitis during my teens and early twenties, I developed deep clefts in my tonsils, which trapped bits of food. This then stank! So every couple of days, I woukd have to lever out the stinking material with the end of a make-up brush!

I saw an ENT consultant, had them removed, and have never had an issue since.

Definitely tell him (gently) and encourage him to see his GP and dentist.

Legumewaffle · 28/05/2019 21:47

Tonsil stones are bad for this. Google them!

Sarahlou63 · 28/05/2019 21:54

It's much gentler to say his breathe smells 'funny' or 'strange' rather than 'bad'.

Sarcelle · 28/05/2019 21:54

Sinus problems?

Missingstreetlife · 28/05/2019 21:57

Gum disease. Floss daily and see dentist and dental hygienist

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 28/05/2019 22:01

Omg, please tell him. I was at a social event at the weekend and a guy I was talking to had the worst breath ever - properly like something was rotting in his mouth. I was thinking "why on earth haven't his friends or girlfriend said anything??" Then I got really paranoid that I had bad breath and no one had told me.

Please tell him. Say "this is awkward to bring up, but over the past few weeks I've noticed that your breath has changed - it smells a bit funny. I'm not sure what is casing it - it could be an infection or something to do with your tonsils. Would you mind going to the dentist to get it checked out? " or similar.

Drogosnextwife · 28/05/2019 22:03

Sounds likke he might have an infection in his tooth. My dp gets this a lot. His teeth are terrible (pretty badly neglected as a child)

BrightOink · 28/05/2019 22:15

Buy some CB12 mouthwash and say it was 'on offer' and tell him to try it. It's honestly amazing. Then compliment him on his fresh breath. Win.

mummabubs · 28/05/2019 22:22

I noticed my DP's breath became bad a couple of years into our relationship. (I didn't say anything as like you I couldn't think of a gentle way to say it). He's otherwise completely fit and healthy. When he finally got round to going to the dentist it turned out he had gum disease. He's now had several hygienist appointments and breath no longer smells. Hope that helps as it might be worth going to the dentist?

queenqueenqueen · 28/05/2019 22:25

I think you really have to tell him, agree like PPs there could be something medical wrong x

madcatladyforever · 28/05/2019 22:26

My ex husbands breath stank. There is no nice way of saying it. You have to tell him his breath is horrible all the time. He needs to go to the hygienist and then floss and brush twice a day.

Itsallpointless · 28/05/2019 23:44

There is a ‘condition’ called PND, post nasal drip. It’s caused by allergies. The yukky stuff comes down the nasal passages into the throat and just ‘drips’ onto the tongue. It will start to smell when it gets infected.

Might be worth a google

Original poster
namechangecharlie · 29/05/2019 07:56

Thanks so much everyone. Because he does brush regularly (never seen him floss but even I’m guilty of not flossing enough) I think it may be a medical problem afterall.

The only other ‘symptom’ I can think of that might contribute to a sinus problem or PND is that he often has to cough up mucus and says he needs to see a doctor about that in case it was an issue with his throat/lungs. Don’t know if that’s related?!

I definitely have more confidence to go ahead and mention it now Blush @BrightOink I like that idea though lol!

OP posts:
FlorencesHunger · 29/05/2019 09:19

Could be anything op, some embarrassment is better than not tackling it at all/serious issue comes to light.

I brushed regularly and still ended up with gum disease and stinking breath. I didn't floss as I found it difficult. Teeth were overcrowded and now I have permanent gum disease. I manage it now so no bad breath.

DontCallMeShitley · 29/05/2019 09:44

A diet of meat can do this, as can drinking red wine, and also smoking.

What is his diet like?

There is a smell from eating a lot of meat that does smell like shit.

Missingstreetlife · 29/05/2019 20:13

Mouthwash, gum and minty flavours are masking the problem
Don't be such a wimp, just tell him. You are together 3 years and you can't say you're a bit niffy?!

Rocketgirl1 · 29/05/2019 20:38

I know someone who had really awful breath when he had mouth ulcers.

FabledChinHair · 29/05/2019 20:48

Could be acid reflux if he has it straight after brushing.

gamerchick · 29/05/2019 20:55

A starting point is always the dentist for stuff like this. It's their area and they can advise after a check up whether it's oral or not.

You don't mention whether he has regular check ups so maybe it's time for one.