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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU - moody husband

8 replies

Appymummy · 28/05/2019 21:24

Hi - I'll try and keep this short if possible! So my DH is the stressy person in the relationship and I am the calm one. He has always been hot headed but since having our DS 12 weeks ago he has been really negative with me. An example from this evening;
He comes in from work - first thing he says "it's hot in here" and starts opening all the windows and then starts telling me how the house is a state and I should have tided up...now I had straightened up but not properly cleaned the house as I am still recovering from the birth, have a 12 week old that is a little groggy and needy today and also studying for an exam in a few days! I tried to tell him this but he didn't want to listen. I then had to leave as I needed to be somewhere for an hour so he looked after out DS, when I came back he just ignored me and went to bed, making me feel like I am in the wrong...Am I?

Other examples include; "you wouldn't be anywhere without me"
"I am the one that brings the money in, I pay for this and that and you pay for nothing" which is incorrect, yes he earns more and especially now I am on maternity but I have paid for things too (we don't have a joint account).
He also offers to help with things and then moans about having to do everything!

He has been getting more snappy as the weeks go on, my question is; AIBU for thinking he is being too negative to me? As much as I love DS I know DH wanted a baby more than me(I wouldn't be without him) he doesn't do that much with DS but does do the cooking!

OP posts:
MadeForThis · 28/05/2019 22:38

He's a dick.

BeUpStanding · 28/05/2019 22:50

He sounds appalling. You are not being unreasonable at all, he is definitely being far too negative, critical, and horrible to you

Pessismistic · 28/05/2019 23:05

I would try and ignore his comments if you can was he like that before baby came along? he’s probably feeling left out or jealous of the baby taking up your time good luck and congratulations on the baby. FlowersFlowers

Appymummy · 29/05/2019 06:53

Thanks for the replies, I am glad to see that I am not being unreasonable. He had always been like this but on a much smaller scale (hardly anything really) but since having DS he has been so much worse! He thinks me attitude towards him is awful and "I need to watch how I talk to him" I am only mirroring how he speaks to me but he turns it around to say I am the one that starts it and I make him like that!
Maybe it is because DS is taking up my time, but to be honest I am being pleasant with him to keep the peace, but I don't want to be around him when he is like this!

OP posts:
EKGEMS · 29/05/2019 18:22

He is being verbally and emotionally abusive and you do not deserve it or should tolerate it. If he comes home and bitches just tell him he's welcome to clean or hire a professional you had your reasons for not cleaning.-personally I'd have a come to Jesus talk with him and address his attitude and behavior and let him know how close he is to losing you.

MrMagooo · 29/05/2019 19:09

Does it matter if your DS is taking up your time. He's not a 3 year old. Tell him he's been a lot more grumpy lately and ask him why.

PositiveVibez · 29/05/2019 19:39

He sounds absolutely vile. You are DNBU!!!

He is being very unreasonable, cruel and spiteful.

Appymummy · 29/05/2019 21:31

Thanks for your opinions- at least I know I am not going mad. Surprise surprise tonight he's acting as if nothing has happened!

OP posts:
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