I just can't do this anymore

[Poppy1774]

I just can't do this anymore. My dh is miserable all the time. We have a lovely baby, just moved to a new area that he wanted to move to, he has a new job he wanted, but now he's saying he's f**ked his life up. He was miserable where we lived before as well. I just can't do this anymore. He nags me all the time. I dread him coming home depending what mood he is in.

Sounds like he needs counselling. I’d he open to that? There’s something more going on - I assume he hasn’t always been like this. Maybe you can take a break from each other if you have some place to go.

Sounds exhausting op. Have you either of you sought help? Is there anything in particular that's making him miserable? Your not responsible for anyone else's feelings except your own

What does he nag you about?
What does he propose to do about his unhappiness? Is he depressed, is he seeing a GP?

It's completely exhausting. Thank you for your messages.
I feel I am always trying to be jolly and happy but sometimes it just gets to me and I find myself getting so frustrated.
Oh he nags me about everything but mainly about keeping the house tidy etc - I am a tidy person but he is really really tidy and likes everything in its place. Also about the garden, jobs that need doing...everything really and I just find it exhausting because I am also trying to look after a small baby.
He's great with the baby but I don't want him growing up seeing his father so unhappy.
He hasn't always been like this, but he seems to have totally lost all confidence over the last few years. I don't know why - he's been promoted a couple of times, we've had a baby who he loves very much. Today I just broke down sobbing and told him that I was worried that I didn't make him happy anymore and he said that it wasn't that.

I really want him to be happy and I am always thinking what can I do to make him happy, which I know isn't healthy but I can't stop it.

I'm exhausted. I stayed at my parents last week (so they could spend time with the baby) and I felt so much more relaxed.

He needs to see his GP if you feel like he might be depressed. Or is it that his new job isn't how he expected it to be and he feels he's messed up by leaving his old job (and friends?)

If he's basically a good guy who's not coping, then tell him how wrung out you're feeling from this, and that he needs to seek help or it's going to break your relationship.

I think he is basically a good guy who isn't coping, but not coping is turning him into not such a nice guy, if that makes sense. Sometimes we have these horrible arguments (I hate confrontation) in which he screams at me to f*k off and shut the f*k up. I've told him how much this language upsets me but he says that he doesn't mean it really, and he apologises but makes me feel that I did something to make it happen.
I don't know, I feel I am totally losing my sense of self at the moment. I left a good job so we could move, and pulled out after the second round of an interview for my absolute dream job, and agreed to have children later than I wanted to have them. Now I have my son I absolutely love him to pieces but already my dh is getting stressed about baby number 2, which I would like but not for a few years, but he says that he is not sure he wants another baby. I told him when we got engaged that I wanted children - that's something that's always been so important to me.
I just don't know I feel I am putting a facade on all the time. I am really unhappy.