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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Rekindling with ex

6 replies

Clarence2019 · 28/05/2019 14:02

I have been suffering with anxiety and depression for about a year, medicated and dealing with it now but 7 months ago I was a mess a threw my boyfriend out with no warning. He reacted badly and it upset my daughter.
My ex and I have been talking for about a month now, discussing what went wrong, how we can avoid it happening again and that we are both still in love and want to make the relationship work.
I haven't mentioned him yet to my daughter but logistically he could be moving back in next week. We are both in our 40's so know what we are doing but my daughter is only 9. We think he should sleep on the sofa for a while so that my daughter can get used to him being back at home.
Should I try to arrange an hour date every other day till moving in day, spend lots of time with her reassuring her that we both love her and whilst can't guarantee a perfect future we are going to try our best.

OP posts:
poglets · 28/05/2019 14:27

Why do you have to live together again at all? Is he the child's father? If not, hasn't your daughter been through enough upheaval and change for now?

See him separately from your daughter and work out if the relationship is stable first.

RLEOM · 28/05/2019 14:54

If you want it to work, don't rush things and certainly don't move him in straight away! I made that mistake and it didn't last long at all.

Take your time, date, carry on ironing out the creases and enjoy each other.

JamesG101 · 28/05/2019 14:58

I wouldn't rush into anything, like the wise words above. Iron out the creases first.

You don't want history to repeat it's self. It's not good for any of you.

James

Knackeredmommy · 28/05/2019 15:16

I'd see it as a new relationship, time has passed, you don't want to repeat previous mistakes. Why move in together so quickly? Take time to see if things can truly work.

bigchris · 28/05/2019 15:20

It's only 7 months ago that you had a different man in your bed !

Don't move your ex in yet !

RantyAnty · 28/05/2019 15:23

Exactly how did he react badly?
How did that upset your DD?

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