Wwyd if bf of 5months didn't want to go out

[Sammiejo12]

Hi

Just after opinions really

I have a friends birthday bbq next weekend and would like to introduce my newish bf of 5months to them but he just doesn't want to go. No particular reason, said he may be working but he's self employed so I know will use that as an excuse.

I wanted to go out last weekend for a couple of drinks as another friend was working in our local bar, but again he didn't want to go, said it'll be boring.

All of his mates are married with kids so he rarely goes out anyway.

I said I don't like being a secret to which he responded that I'm not all his mates know but they just don't go out as much anymore because of kids etc.

It's the same with my mates, they've all started to get married and have babies so I thought it would be nice to just get involved....

Not going to force him, and if he doesn't want to go then I'll have to accept it but there is t any reason for him not to. I try not to take it personally but it's hard not to.

Probably need to add that we do go out, went to ikea last weekend... lol

Just not meals or drinks, he's into his fitness and by the time we've both finished work it's nice to just chill. I don't mind that so much, but I feel it's me and him or me and my mates and i would like to combine the two occasionally.

Well I go out all the time as a single person, and so if a boyfriend didn't want to go out with me, I'd be getting a new boyfriend.

Someone who wanted to stay in and not socialise would not be compatible with my lifestyle. Obviously, there would be times when we had clashing events, or events one or other would have no interest in, but I love all the friendly socials, so I couldn't be doing with a stay-at-home type.

Nothing necessarily wrong with either of you - just too different.

Although at 5 months I'd be wanting a man who'd walk over hot coals to be with me if needed (out of lust), and he doesn't sound that type either.

Unless he has genuine issues such as social anxiety or something I'd be very miffed about this. He should want to meet your friends, it seems quite odd that he doesn't.

It doesn't seem like you are a good match to be honest.
I would find the not going out too boring and restrictive.
Go to the BBQ by yourself and have fun. Perhaps you will meet a new boyfriend there.

go out without him.

Yes that's the way I'm feeling right now tbh, I don't think I'm
Being unreasonable.

Just depends if I can compromise on this or if it's a deal breaker.

After 5 months everything should be fantastic; doesn't sound like you're that compatible really?

What are his good points?

I'd go to the BBQ by myself.

If he's not the going out type, then I don't see the problem. Go and enjoy yourself!

I'd finish with him

Believe me it is so miserable goimg everywhere alone because you're an is an anti-social recluse

My dh doesn't like going out, doesn't lkke bbqs , doesn't drink, doesn't see the point in paying for meals, prefers to be at home gaming

It's a miserable experience

5 months is plenty of time to have spent in a relationship 'bubble' and a good point to start introducing each other to friends. In my view, that's the next stage of a relationship so if he's not ready to do that then I would see it as an indication of his commitment to you (it's not looking good).
My boyfriend has social anxiety and is an introvert but he agreed to meet my friends after a few months because he knows it's important to me and he makes me a priority.

Yes i agree, I have been in a similar situation before in past relationship where all I did was what HE wanted to do and HE did whatever HE wanted to do without ME, and it's taken me a good few years to come to terms with it and not be afraid to say what I want to do.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable to ask bf if he can come to bbq with me for just a couple of hours, I would for him.

Next! And raise your standards please. He's shown you who he is, it's time for you to listen, and find someone who can be bothered to spend time with people who are important to you.

This kind of existance gets VERY boring.

Life has got to have a good balance.

Take it from someone in your situation, it is totally sole-destroying when on occasion they do go out with you, but you know they would much rather be back at home. In the end you don't bother asking them.