First time dating a woman ...is this normal?

[sallytin]

I had liked a woman for ages,we shared mutual friends.
She also told me she fancied me and we kissed.
We've only seen each other with these friends.
The other day I said we don't have to see each other with friends,we can do something alone and she said that's a odd thing to say...I was pretty much asking her out,don't know why it was weird.
We have slept together the second time I stayed over.
We text daily and have made plans (with friends ) to do something on Saturday night.
When she's drunk she's all over the place,she talks and dances with anyone.
She started dancing with another woman when I was out with her so I just went to the toilet.
The other night I called her "mate" in conversation and she said "noooo don't say mate,you aren't my mate"
Well what the hell am I then?
She's very socially awkward and is a bit weird but I like her.
I'm just confused what this is.
She doesn't say and I'm not a mind reader.
What do I do?

Through a friend who I work with.

Sounds like she's a player, and would mess with your head.

I couldn't get past, 'don't call me mate, you're not a mate.' That's unnecessarily cruel.

Along with all her other 'warnings', I'd also see her as a player.

We've only been chatting etc for three weeks and seen each other three times.
Honestly this all sounds a bit intense for having seen each other 3 times.

Personally I would just relax a little bit. But just sit her down and talk to her like adults, and explain how you're feeling and tell her you're not trying to label your relationship you just want to know how she feels about you and where you stand. If you can't communicate with her there's no chance in this going anywhere.

Oh I see, it was the fact that she’s on Tinder that threw me. I don’t know any lesbians that use Tinder but obviously there must be some who do. I assumed she is bi, hence my comment. Either she’s being cautious because within the lesbian community, rightly or wrongly, there’s a certain level of suspicion of bi women, or she’s just a headfuck. Either way it sounds like a confusing and unhappy situation for the OP and if it were me I’d either be up front with her and ask her to do the same or just move on. If she’s all over other women then I’d be inclined to do the latter.

I couldn't get past, 'don't call me mate, you're not a mate.' That's unnecessarily cruel.

I read that as a more than mates thing, rather than a less than mates thing.

Sounds to me that she just wants someone for a shag/ a fwb type thing.
If she wanted to get to know you then surely she would want to be spending time with you etc.
I'd just ask her something along the lines of was she wanting to get to know you better or was she just after a shag here and there? Also sending texts etc imo doesn't mean very much at all.

It is was me I would think she wasn't interested in any relationship.

I read that as a more than mates thing, rather than a less than mates thing

I agree, I read it as that too.

I would like her to want more.
I'm hoping as we've only seen each other a few times,maybe a few more might build more.
She really opened up to me the other night and told me a lot of personal things.