Perspective needed please

[Jammymare]

Sorry for the ramble, I just need somewhere to hit it all out. Boyfriend of 18 months announced today he feels trapped and pressured into marriage and needs some space apart.
This is our first actual argument and has come completely out of the blue from my point of view. I think he is the sort to let things build up into a big deal, rather than sorting them out as and when, he’s always been really easygoing previously.
Saw his mum on Saturday, and she outright asked him when we were planning on getting married. Went shopping this morning and I made a joke about looking at rings. Then this afternoon it all came out about how pressured he is feeling.
I’ve always made it clear that I won’t wait for a proposal forever and say I’ll ask him in February on the 29th as a bit of a running joke between us. We’ve discussed what sort of wedding each of us would like and I was about to put my house on the market to trial living together before we bought somewhere jointly. He’s never expressed any opinions about wanting to wait longer or being unsure.
Now my whole future feels like it is imploding. I don’t really know how to proceed apart from just giving him some space, but in the other hand I’m angry and feel this is a pretty cowardly thing for him to do, and not how I expect to be treated.

Well he’s just text to ask if we can meet to talk at the weekend. Why does the phrase can we talk always sound like bad news?! Whatever the outcome I will be letting him know that I expect to be treated better than this, actually bloody angry with him right now.

I'm pleased you're angry, you should feel angry.
His text again is keeping you in the dark and allowing himself to not commit to anything. So you're now going to stress for the next 48 hrs wondering what this chat is about. Text back and ask him what he specifically wants to talk to you about. If he can't be honest there is your answer.
He's keeping you dangling and thinking of himself at this moment in time.
He is not putting you first and sorry to say will never put you first.

I know you love him but he will only bring you more heartache.

I've been there, I think sadly most women have had the displeasure of dating a boy not a fully grown adult. It's with experience that I believe this is person does not deserve you.

All of this should be screaming red flags for you.

Doesn’t soubd like he is the one OP, 18 months isn’t that soon to trial moving in with someone and if he was really into you I don’t thibk he would have handled the “marriage” situation like this at all, also not talking to you for five days ....red flags all over the place , move on xx

I think you should feel cross, if you've been clear on what you want he's potentially been stringing you along. I hope the weekend chat goes well but I'd be bracing myself for the non commitment chat. Be strong.

He’s never expressed any opinions about wanting to wait longer or being unsure.

No, but has he ever actually told you that he definitely wants to marry soon or that he's definelty wanting to marry you?

Not saying I don't know, is not the same as saying I definitley AM up for this and SOON.

Maybe he originally thought that your jokes (your word) about marriage were indeed jokes and not actually the serious fishing you were doing under the guise of a joke.

Been watching the thread. How did it go?

This is going to be so outing if he ever comes on here, but long story he tried to propose and I headed him off. We’ve both agreed that we do want to get married, that we should at least live together first, and are now trying to work out how best to proceed, as I am now reluctant to sell my house without going onto his mortgage. He was mortified that I was so angry/upset about his lack of contact, just assumed that I wasn’t worried as I had only text once. Turns out there’s was also a lot of pressure from his family for a ‘family wedding’ that I was unaware of.
So I am treating this as a bit of a blip, we are going to work on our communication and see how it goes

Do make sure you protect your own financial interests before you do anything.

Sounds like a forced proposal to me. I'd be very wary of him. He's gotten exactly what he wanted, you to back off.

Seen this before. Friends argue and then randomly a proposal happens. Sorry but it doesn't sound good.
I'd be more concerned about the inability to communicate as a couple. Why could he have told you about the pressure he was feeling?

I think you should run for the hills! This won't be the man for you.