This is going to sound really bad, but I've been trying my best. I got together with abusive ex 13 years ago and first left him 9 years ago, then after being homeless I went back, not because I loved him, I hated his guts, but I wanted to live in a house as young dc. And I planned how to leave safely.
Well I managed to leave safely with the children 6 years ago and we are now divorced too after lengthy battle.
But he is still trying to control me and manipulate me on a daily basis.
He is in touch with me or the dc (through me) around 4 or more times a day every single day. Either coming round with items he forgot to give me, or to see the dc, or to hear about their day. Always with any old excuse basically.
A year ago I tried to shut it all down. I recorded how much he contacted me- it was over 9 times every single day. Whether dc were with me or him made no difference.
I stopped letting him in the house. I stopped responding if dc were with him, and unplugged the phone if dc were with me. But he just came round and knocked on windows to wake dc up.
Anyway a year later I am shutting it down again- and I need to do it harder and better than before.
Is there anything anyone can recommend to me- or support me through it?