Drug using ex demanding contact

[Newyearbollocks]

Hey guys so bear with me on this.

I was with the father to my 3 boys over 4 years ago. I was with him 10 years. This is a touchy subject for me.
He was 21 when I met him, I was 15 and only recently over the past couple of years and countless psychologist meetings, have I realised this was incredibly wrong and I was in part groomed, taken advantage of and victimised at my weakest point. There is alot more to this story, but to keep it to the point he is a very nasty man.

I suffered years of abusive and had three children with him. I only realised my worth when I nearly died and needed emergency surgery that now affects me for the rest of my life. So I left him.

But him being the father, he still had regular contact. He has always been useless and shortly after I met him, he left work and decided to claim benefits because hes entitled to whatever the government will provide. So he has never had an income. I worked my way up to an incredible Job and am now in the middle of a degree, passed my driving test and earning a good income.

After a while and after he found a new partner and had a child, she suffered the same fate and was abused. What I didn't know was my children had witnessed this. They had also witnessed his drug usage and other things. Contact stopped at once and they haven't had contact now for 1 & half years. I haven't had to deal with him.

However, they still have regular contact with his parents (they've done nothing wrong). Sometimes they mention he wants to see them, they don't agree but he is pestering them nevertheless.

This is where my question comes in and the above is relevant. He is a drug using abusive man who I feel would only damage my children. I want to revoke his rights for their sake.
My health is okay, but I have heart issues and I am terrified that if something was to happen to me, he would become the full time parent. That would destroy them. They don't even want to see him. My eldest is 11 and youngest 7.

What on earth do I do? Please any advice would be appreciated!

Is your question that you want to prevent him having contact now or in the future, or is it that you want to prevent him being responsible for the children were you to die?

I've prevented him having contact now. The question is whether I can revoke his rights incase I do die?

In other words, make that no contact permanent In the eyes of the law. If I died and he took over. It would completely ruin l
Their lives. He would use their tax credit for drugs, take away their holidays, they would be living like feral children and I can not bare the thought of that.

Do you have anyone, perhaps in your own family, that you could name as their guardians? It would need some serious thought and discussion with the prospective guardians obviously.

Yeah, no thought needed, my mum and I have already discussed this at great length and she would automatically bring them up. But its more about the legal side.

Were you married to the father, if not was he named on their birth certificates?
If he has parental responsibility, then he would need to be involved in the guardianship decisions, which he may make difficulties about.

You need to see a solicitor, and probably have the guardianship incorporated into your will, if it all straightforward.

Not married, yes on the birthday certificate. That's my worry, he won't approve anything that doesn't suit him.

You draw up documents stating your preferred legal guardian and a back up choice too I suggest but it would need social services and/or court involvement to remove his parental rights. You could contact ss for advice.

Yep, I would see a solicitor specialising in family law to discuss and draw up appropriate documents. This may take some time but it will give you and your mum a peace of mind.