When someone wants to finish a relationship and behaves badly hoping the other person does it ....

[jewel1968]

Is there a term or expression for this behaviour or is it just cowardly behaviour. Have 2 friends I think are experiencing this. The husbands are behaving in such a way it almost forces the wife to be the bad guy.

Cowardly. Really facing shitty.

Facing? Predictive has gone a bit po-faced there!

Fucking. Really fucking shitty.

It is easy for me to say being on the outside looking in. In both cases the wife focuses on the behaviour episode by episode rather than the whole thing. But as I say easy for me to say and I don't hear the husband's side.

My ex did this. And he even admitted he’d done it when I finally took the hint and ended it. It’s really cowardly shitty behaviour. I don’t know if there’s a technical term but it’s definite twattery and your friends have my sympathy and solidarity!

It’s also hard to see when you’re on the inside as it’s incremental and you only realise how badly you’ve been treated when it’s too late and your self-esteem is shot to shit. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Thinking about it I have another friend whose ex did the same to her. She spent years wrestling with it and now years later sees it for what it probably was. I was wondering if there is a personality disorder or something as it seems so cruel.

My dh is behaving really badly lately. Stupid petty arguments.
in one he said he didn't want a relationship with me anymore then, two hours later said he didn't mean it. It's getting to the point I think he is Behaving like this because he can't cope emotionally with our situation. instead of dealing with the issue. When I try and deal with the facts and the issue he tells me I'm gaslighting him.i blame his parents for not teaching him how to deal with issues head on.

My STBXH did this.. together 11 years and 6 months after we married he just changed and become a selfish piece of shit.. stupidly I blamed myself and kept trying to fix things as when I challenged it he would blame work stress.. 6 months later he left me and told me he didn’t love me anymore and had become a “different person”. It honestly makes you feel like you’ve gone crazy, even harder when weeks after leaving you he’s met someone else and become the dream boyfriend. These pathetic excuses of “men” don’t deserve to be called men.

My ex did this. Shitty behaviour and lies for months until I asked him to leave. I am 100% sure it was so he could tell people (and our children) that I threw him out (rather than him telling them he was a liar and a cheat and admitting what he was up to).

It’s all so they can make it look like you are crazy. You are the one that broke up the family, hurt the kids etc.

Yes I can see that. A bit like gaslighting I guess.

My ex did it too. Thought I was going mad at the time. Only once away from it I could see what happened. He’d met someone else. Self righteous twat