Do you think I'm better off alone

[anotherturniponafork]

I am currently living with partner of a couple of years

I have had other similar length relationships in the past and have also spent many years in between alone, mostly miserable but not always, when I look back on the other relationships I think i may have 'given up too easy' and worry I am contemplating doing the same again

I've been having doubts about my relationship, but am unsure if these are legitimate or because the honeymoon period is over and I'm looking at my single days through rose tinted glasses

I do think I love him, he is kind and decent and attentive in a lot of ways, but I'm just really questioning whether I want to be with this man for the rest of my life, there are not massive issues, nothings really change since we got together but I do find myself fantasising about being alone, but also I know I'd be devastated and lonely and miss him if he left but also I can almost feel myself become disengaged, I seem to be caring less and less if we argue for example where as in the past I was quite passionate and keen to sort arguments out quickly and worried he would just leave, now I literally just think 'fuck off' in my head and can shut off from it and go about my day

I guess I just don't know, how do I know this person is right for me, how do I know I'm happier than I would be if I was on my own? Am I just a bit bored because the excitement has gone or could I just be happier on my own?

How do I know these things?!

Counselling might be useful in helping you explore previous relationships including your childhood and see if any patterns emerge. Could you have a fear of commitment, or a tendency to sabotage relationships? Do you seek out the "wrong " types of partner repeatedly?
I agree it's very difficult to know what's for the best. There are pros and cons to being in a relationship and being single.

You sound a bit bored! Not sure what the solution is but, if having given your relationship and partner a chance, you feel that it’s not right / fair to drag it on, maybe think about ending things.

I am wondering if I've been sabotaging relationships, it does seem to be at a certain point and I'll almost give up, a small argument will result in me just saying I can't be bothered anymore with no actual issues in the relationship

And I definitely do think boredom is a lot to do with it, I've tended to have fairly intense relationships at the beginning, we will spend a lot of time together and I wonder if I've almost over exposed myself to them, too much too soon and now just boredom!

I really don't want to throw away a decent man but I just can't shake this feeling that he's not adding anything to my life, which sounds awful but that's how I feel!

What is the longest period that you have ever been single?

Rubber tree - I have spent years been single, a good couple of years before my DC was born and then for a good few years after, a few dates here and there but nothing more than that.

I feel like I'm in a total catch 22 situation, I do love him and I would be very upset if we broke up, but I can't help feeling that my overall happiness would be higher if I was on my own

It's just made me wonder what if I'm just with someone because it's what we're 'supposed' to do? What if I was my life compromising and always putting someone else first when I'd have been fine on my own! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Does anyone else feel like this?

You deffo need some counselling to explore how you get to a certain point in a relationship and then feel like this.

Because it sounds like a pattern.