Is it just my paranoia?

[shakeitofff]

My dp was texting a colleague of his at work. I did find and see the txts but nothing ever came of it (apparently).
Fast forward to a few weeks later. I've noticed her coming online the same time as my DP and then off again. It's so hard to tell but could it be possible they're still speaking together?
I checked through phone and there's ZILCH there. He deleted her number etc, I've tried looking everywhere - hidden files, notes, searching her number on his phone. Still zero. I'm inclined to think he keeps her number written down and will txt her when not there but just have no idea.
Am I being paranoid? Forgot to say, I have this woman's number (from when I caught him out) so that's how I check her last seen and all this week its been similar or same time as when dp has been online...

She definitely doesn't have another number her one is still active and being used
That's why people get second phones just for cheating.....

But if she had another number why would they be online on WhatsApp at similar times together? I'm not 100% sure if they are on together talking it's just when I check his last seen stamp, it's similar to hers or basically both online so meaning she's still using her usual number to txt him?!?!

I forgave him for the texts, we are working through it but I just have a feeling he's still txting her/planning stuff which is why I'm trying everything I can to get evidence. So far I've been unlucky and nothing is on his phone .

I wish I had an answer for you. Currently going through similar. All I can do is choose to believe that nothing happened physically or emotionally (there were secret texts but from what I was able to see, it was only platonic, he said he hid them from me because he knew I didn’t like her and him even talking but he had zero feelings in that way...) I’ve never been jealous of any of his female friends before but I’ve never liked that she was always so needy of him, more than normal. You just have to trust him but if anything like this happens again, even the smallest thing, then I’m afraid it’s binning time. I gave him a chance, I think everyone deserves one chance. If he ruins it, it’s on him, not you, not me. Breathe.

@Somewhereoverthere29

Thanks so much. What happened in your situation exactly? How did you find the txts ?

Are you married?
Do you have DC together?
Do you own a house together?
If none of these, then it's time to ditch him.
You cannot continue like this.
I can totally understand the need for 'proof'
Been there, got the t-shirt.
But it won't do you any good in the long run.
Who is he messaging in whatsapp? Does he use it for friends, family, etc.....?

@shakeitoff

I saw a message flash from someone I had never heard of, something in me knew to check. She was saved under a mans name. This was because I had asked him to block her a year or so before, as I found her weird. In all my years I’ve never asked him or anyone to block anyone ever, male or female. This is not form for me. This was because husband knew I didn’t like her. She was an incredible needy friend, who seemed to need him and only him to help her with all of life’s ills. I thought it was weird as she seems to have a lot of friends but apparently that’s SM only. None in real life???

I don't want to encourage unhealthy behaviours as such, but if you were wanting to look for some sort of concrete evidence of them still talking, I believe Google drive backs up whatsapp conversations periodically. If he has an android.

But it sounds like you don't trust him and that past events are still bothering you. This is ok and you don't have to find anything new to justify how you are feeling.

Type her number into his phone and find what name she is saved under.

This is a horrible thing to go through

Agree with pp- he may have saved her name under someone innocuous like Steve or John.

Sorry OP. Either way, the doubt isn't healthy to live with.

@Windmillwhirl

@WifOfBif

Did this already. First thing I thought of . Think I mentioned this in OP.
I even searched the +44 format as well as the 07 version because I know sometimes numbers are saved like this.

No match at all. And I'm literally searching it every few days when he leaves his phone on the side

Sorry that was meant to go to @WelshMoth

@Slicedpineapple

Thank you. I have an iPhone so had no idea,, he is getting a new phone an updated version of his Samsung so when he transfers data my plan is to ask them and to have a look. Well "pretend" to just look at his new phone