Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He won't leave me alone

14 replies

astrasky · 26/05/2019 11:24

I briefly dated a guy from Feb to his year until about early April. It was extremely casual, and totally inappropriate in many levels. I have been in a bad place for the past few months with mental health, and I often take less than i deserve from other people.
This guy isn't a nice person. I have found out since I stopped speaking to him that he would take my card without me realising when I was at his and go to the shop to buy stuff for himself after he said he used his own card. He also made me pay for a lot of stuff as he was "waiting for money". He used to be successful (with money) but after he got divorced he said he lost a lot of it. Nothing against universal credit, but he doesn't have a job or an intention to get one. This all came out in the last two weeks before I cut contact. He was a drinker, and I'm not so it was also destined to fail. He's also significantly older than me. Basically red flags everywhere

Anyway I told him in April I didn't want to see him again and to leave me alone. He text a few more times like "hope you're okay". I ignored it. I am currently seeing a friend of mine that I've had for many years. It's a very slow and early days thing, but I really like him. He's my age, he's motivated and I feel safe around him because Ive known him a while.

Anyway the guy I told to stop contacting me early April has started bombarding me with texts like
"hey text me ill take you on a date"
"text me back!"
"I've changed now I'm not even drinking"
"I've got a job interview today".

When I ignore him on one thing e.g. Text he'll message me on WhatsApp, and if i ignore again, on messenger.

I've gradually blocked him on all of them.

On my phone however is a folder full of blocked messages (that is that they still
Come through but I don't get a notification.) and the messages are just the same thing as above

The thought of him makes me feel sick. I've told him I didn't want contact but he continues to do so. I've tried blocking but he finds a way of texting. The new guy I am seeing (who I have a long friendship with) has told me to lodge it with the police, as he thinks it's quite sinister. All the times I've said leave me alone he just says "oh come on let's be nice" and carried on. I've blocked him but i live alive and he lives very close to me. Im really freaked out by this.

Has anyone got any advice on what to do. I feel scared and alone. I really don't want this guy in my life anymore

OP posts:
FabledChinHair · 26/05/2019 11:35

Yes log it with police now, you've told him you're not interested. At least speak with them for advice maybe. Hope you're okay op, sounds quite scary.

Cherrysoup · 26/05/2019 11:35

Report on 101. Keep the folder of blocked messages as evidence. Don’t respond to him.

SparklyMagpie · 26/05/2019 12:57

Yes log it!

I'm quite surprised you haven't already, you know he's not going to stop!

Oh and keep the folder of messages

astrasky · 26/05/2019 13:05

Yeah you're right, I suppose I wanted to know I was overreacting.

I have actually deleted the messages as I deleted the contact and the old messages that he sent last night and now they're all gone Sad

Shall I still log it? I will try and get the messages back now.

Another blocked message came through saying "we can still hang out even if you have a boyfriend"

Ugh.

I actually feel like I will have to move away from this house.

OP posts:
FabledChinHair · 26/05/2019 13:09

Yes still log it. Especially if you're feeling that unsafe you want to leave your house?

RantyAnty · 26/05/2019 13:34

Change your phone number

EducatingArti · 26/05/2019 13:36

Yes, log it with police. If you have made it quite clear you don't want contact and he continues, it becomes stalking.

EducatingArti · 26/05/2019 13:45

If you feel like you need to move house you definitely should report to police.

EducatingArti · 26/05/2019 13:46

PS, if he took and used your bank card without your knowledge then that is also a criminal offence!

over50andfab · 26/05/2019 13:54

Sorry you’re going through this OP. He’s obviously taken advantage of you massively.

Not sure if you’d be able to prove the bank card thing, but re the messages, and in light of the fact you’ve deleted them, perhaps send him one message, saying you have asked him to stop messaging and harassing you, state again you want no more to do with him and as he is continuing to do so you will now be going to the police to file a report.

CatPunsFreakMeowt · 26/05/2019 14:27

Definitely report to the police Flowers

Bananalanacake · 26/05/2019 14:37

did you get your bank card back

Doesitevenmatternow · 26/05/2019 14:38

Report to the police.

On a happier note however, I am really glad you have realised you deserve better and you are involved with somebody lovely.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page