When does it get better?

[Lil456]

No contact for 6 weeks now and its getting worse. I wake up everyday feeling sick, dream abiut him everyday and think about him all day everyday.. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I have no motivation to go out and I have no friends where I am so I'm feeling extremely lost and lonely.

Just wondering if it gets easier and if you've been through it, when? I think what's making it worse is that he usually caves and this time he hasn't, but I know deep down it's for the best..

We're just giving this a bump for you, OP.

It will get better with time. "If you are going through hell, keep going" is all you can do. Be very kind to yourself, practice a lot of self care, treat yourself as you would a best friend who was going through this, so no blaming yoursel or mulling over past times. Do some things you enjoy, a walk in the park, a box of your favourite choc, watch a film or box set, fresh sheets etc. Try to think of 3 good things you have done each day, even if it is just to make yourself a nice lunch, or a good cup of coffee.

Do you need some help? you could see the GP if you feel the need of medical help or phone the Samaritans if you need someone to talk to.

Hi OP,

Have a read of this www.amazon.co.uk/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken-ebook/dp/B002RI9J5A?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 it really helped me.

It will heal, but you have to take control and love yourself. x

I'm 6 months NC. And my god it has been the hardest 6 months of my life.
In short.... YES it does get better. But it is a bumpy ride for sure. I know I'm not exactly where I want to be, but I'm not where I was.
As pp's have said; be kind to yourself. Treat yourself first with care, love and respect.
Grit your teeth and make yourself do positive things. But also acknowledge the days and times, you need to wallow and cry. It is important to do this and grieve.
Give yourself a pat on the back for making 6 weeks. That's fantastic.
You will not get what you want from them. I have found NC has allowed me to find space and time to process everything, and find my own answers.
If they meant to come back they will. In the meantime, concentrate on bringing out the best in yourself. I know it's hard, I really do. But keep pushing forwards

I think there are things you can do to make it easier.

Try seeing this time as space to invest in yourself.

What have you always wanted to do but haven't got around to?

Are there any trips to see family and friends you can make?

Are there any new skills, crafts or courses you'd like to do?

Have you ever had any counselling, done any meditation?

The more you fill your life up with new things and invest in yourself, the less space you will have to ruminate on what is now in the past.

I don't know the circumstances of your NC but I read the book 'It's Called A Break Up Because It's Broken' and recommend it (it's quite tongue in cheek though so read the summary before you buy it as it's a particular style of writing that not everyone will like).

Hi same amount of time for me & my break up. He was messaging me (posted a few weeks ago) but has now stopped. I feel abit better, but still feel like a chunk of me has gone.
I think it's worse because it's a long weekend when people are doing coupley things together. I'm trying to keep busy & not over think everything.
I know what you mean about thinking about them every day. It's so painful .
My relationship was the first serious one since my marriage break up & the first person that I'd opened up to. Wish I hadn't bothered now.
I'm sure we'll both be ok. Let's think positive together x

Thank you for the recommendations I'll definately give them a try!

It's just been so tough trying to find motivation. Ive been trying to get out with my little one but I end up constantly thinking about him then feeling guilty that my heads not in full focus of my daughter.

Can only hope that as time passes it'll get easier x