Would you be happy with this ?

[user1486133359]

My partner is friends with another women whose child is his daughters friend. Would you be happy with them going on on trips together, him going to her house for dinner and then going away, with one of the kids afterschool clubs, for a few days ?.

Yes, why not? Their kids are friends, isn’t that normal?

Really depends... how long have you been together? Have you met his friend? How are they together?

Are they going away together as part of a bigger group? Like, a theatre trip with a drama club or a rugby tour? Because there's not much he can do about that really is there. Were they friends before he met you? I wouldn't allow a partner to tell me who I could be friends with.

Is she married/with a DP? Is it a long-standing friendship? It is possible to have friendships with the opposite sex. I actually prefer the company of men as they can be less uptight and less complicated.

I don't tell him who he can be friends with. Just sometimes he arranges stuff with her when its our time together. I've known her as long as he has. She has tried before to cause a problem with an unnecessary comment.

Can you give more details? Are the dinners just him and her? Are the trips just him and her or with groups?

He's going on family trips out with another woman. Some people wouldn't mind, I would, you have the right to your own feelings and assert your boundaries accordingly.

I agree with junifora

If your gut feeling is bad, go with it. He's choosing to spend time with another woman and her kids - trips, dinners and short breaks - over time he could be spending with me?

How much time do you have with him? Do you feel like there's a level of investment that makes you question things?

No, I wouldn't be happy with that

So the children play together....that's great. Just leave it at that...why all the extra intimacy between the adults ?

No I’d find this weird. Their DC are friends, I don’t see why they need to have dinner together. I’d talk to him about how you feel, it could be perfectly innocent.

That wouldn't work for me.
He seems to have poor boundaries, which would seep through the cracks of any life you built with him.

If it's early days and you have no fixed ties, I'd throw this one back into the dating pool.

Mmmm I can't see this ending well. Sorry op.

Nope, not for me.

Of course I would, in healthy relationships people don’t stop their partners from making or maintaining friendships.

What AF said. The kids are friends, no need for the parents to be going to these lengths. Does he do that with all his dd's friends parents?

Nope no way.

it's a No from me too OP

Dodgy. Most DPs wouldn't get themselves into this position, out of respect for your feelings and not to create a source of gossip among other parents.

Nope he's prioritizing his relationship with her vs yours almost like an EA in my opinion

I wouldn't be okay with this.

Me neither.

Nope 👎

Is he the only one at the dinners and trips away, or a group?

If you both met her at the same time, why aren't you invited?

In what way does he prioritise her over time with you? Is it really time with her, or doing an activity with his dc?

If they're going away as part of a big group of kids and adults I'd be fine with it. But not if he's going round to dinner just the two of them.

How long have you been with your partner?
Do you live together? Do you have children together?
Have they been friends for a long time?
Were such arrangements in place before you got together?