effects on children where divorce is not due to an affair.

[toycar]

how are children affected by parents divorce if the reason for the separation was not an affair but for other reasons like MH of one spouse making it very difficult for a functioning cohesive marriage? Or may be if one spouse is short tempered and there is daily bickering?

My childhood was pretty dysfunctional with extreme levels of bickering beyond short tempered daily bickering i mentioned above. My parents are still married but things mellowed and there is a reliance on one another now. if they had divorced, we would have grown up with a massive change in lifestyle and possibly a just as distressed parent with money issues and sole responsibility.

I'm not in this situation but a friend is with two under 10 and i'm purely speculating. I know this is a bit of and odd thread but would anyone be happy to share?

My parents were also unhappy and after I split up Mum was having a go at me for not 'working at it'. I said 'doesn't it matter that I'm happier now without him?'
Her response
'I was unhappy for 20 years but we're alright now' WTF
Later that evening after she had gone to bed Dad told me that he had been planning on leaving when my elder brother started school but just before he started school Mum got pregnant with me.

Planning to leave but still having sex - yeah that sounds about right

Explained a lot as well - I had always felt Dad resented me but didn't know why - certainly cleared that one up. 2 more kids after me, so clearly still wanted his 'needs' met.

My split - I just knew I wasn't happy and wanted out. He knew I wanted out but didn't leave until he met someone else, so there was an affair but that wasn't the cause. It's only as I've got older I have realised there was emotional abuse going on - although nothing like as bad as some on here.

After we split it felt like I had one less child to look after rather than losing a partner