DV report, thinking about withdrawing statement?

[jh77]

Myself and dd's father got into an argument about a week ago and I called the police and made a statement. Ever since I've wanted to withdraw the statement - and let me stress my reasons for doing so solely concern mine and dd's interests and definitely not his! We've been separated for over a year now and have not had contact with him since the incident and without getting into to too much detail I just feel that moving forward a police case is not what me a dd need to move on. Has anyone had any experience on this or know what any potential implications may be? thanks x

[BigRedLondonBus]

I did this, however he told me the case still went ahead but it was dropped as there was no evidence but he still had to attend court. I also done it for me and not him, I just didn’t want to attend court. What are you going to do about him having contact with your dd?

[Littlefish]

The police can still decide to go ahead with pressing charges.

If you are afraid of the future repercussions of continuing, doesn't that just tell you what a dangerous man he is?

[jh77]

I'm not afraid of any repercussions of continuing I just want to move on as I have been and feel that having a police case looming over my head is going to hinder me from doing so. I'm not protecting him at all it's more that I feel confident that I can personally put the necessary measures in place to keep myself and more importantly dd safe without having to go down this route and I think theres more effective options that will work better for me and dd. I have cut contact with him and for the foreseeable he won't be seeing dd until certain things are put into place. I'd like to know more about the process of withdrawing the statement and what it would entail for me

[75Renarde]

Don't withdraw. Just leave it on record. You don't know when you might need it again.

You can move on. Police will just leave it.

[TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross]

So why did you call the police in the first place if you can keep you and your DD safe?

Yes, you can withdraw your statement but they can still take the case to court if they feel they have enough evidence to do so.

[jh77]

What do you mean by they'll just leave it? & surely the only evidence is my statement?

[BigRedLondonBus]

Nothing happened for me I just had to go down to the station to speak to them though, they weren’t happy about it and did go ahead regardless (I didn’t know this until my ex told me years later as we had no contact after that for a couple of years)

[Intothe]

Was it just a verbal argument?

[Treesthemovie]

Sounds like youre protecting him on some level, why did you feel the need to call the police in the first place?

[jh77]

Ah so he was arrested and charged at some point presumably? There was a push during the argument and I rang the police because at the time I wanted them to placate the situation although things had calmed down by the time they arrived, I know it's coming across that I'm doing this to protect him but I just want to know the process and any experience of it that anyone has

[75Renarde]

The police will absolutly leave it. Dear God. I'm guessing there's not many on here who understand how it works

[jh77]

I have no idea how it works would you mind briefly explaining?

[Intothe]

Once he's been charged, it will go to court and be dropped due to lack of evidence. As far as I know.

[Intothe]

However if he doesn't appear, he'll have a bench warrant for his arrest (I think).

[Intothe]

Presumably he was taken in for questioning?
Did he admit it or deny it?
Was he charged? If so, what was he charged with? Common assault?

[BigRedLondonBus]

My ex was arrested and charged but he had previous history of dv which is why the case still went ahead even after I withdrew my statement. My ex had previously been to prison. If your ex hasn’t and this is the only time then it probably would just be dropped.

[funnylittlefloozie]

Did the police attend the incident and remove him from your property? Do you have the name and collar number of the officer who took your statement, and your crime number? You can phone the local police and ask them what the situation is.

[Manclife1]

Actually, with the increased use of body worn video ‘victimless’ prosecutions are on the increase and now quite common. You can request for the case to be dropped but it’s not your decision to make.

[jh77]

He had already left by the time they arrived and so no he was not arrested and to the best of my knowledge still hasn't been. He has been to prison but for something totally unrelated and when he was a lot younger. Does requesting for the case to be dropped differ from withdrawing a statement?

[Bluntness100]

It will be dropped if yours is the only evidence and you refuse to give it

And yes the police dislike this, it's sadly very common in dv cases. The police burn thousands of man hours on this stuff, they geneuinely want to help and deal with this scum, to protect women, but often it is all for the women to drop it in the end.

Although generally for a different reason to yours. Which is "but I love him". The man then goes on to continue to violently abuse the woman, or some other poor sod.

I've family and close friends in the police, and domestic violence is for police officers one of the most soul destroying jobs to have due to the sheer volume of women being abused, dropping rhe charges, going back to them, and then being abused again, and again and again. It's hard to watch. Some of these women deteriorate so badly after each attack by the time the last one occurs they are barely human any more.

Think carefully about what you're doing.

[MitziK]

How it works?

You withdraw your statement, he gets away with it and goes on to either wallop you one next time he's angry or he does it to his next victim, but because there's no previous, he gets away with it again, as it's 'not him'.

Oh, and when he takes you to court for unsupervised contact with the DD, you don't have a leg to stand on, as you withdrew your statement, which means you 'obviously made it up' and you are therefore unreliable in the eyes of the Family Court Judge.

Having that report on file gives you the protection/evidence you need to protect her and yourself. Withdrawing it means you have nothing.

[BigRedLondonBus]

I don’t think you can “drop the charges” as like pp said it’s not your decision to make. I’ve also known of men to get unsupervised access regardless of dv so I don’t think it makes a huge difference either way.

[75Renarde]

@MitziK has it. Absolutely. Let the charges remain on file.

[75Renarde]

Some of these women deteriorate so badly after each attack by the time the last one occurs they are barely human any more.

Wrong. They remain human. The scum that did it were never human in the first place

[75Renarde]

I don’t think you can “drop the charges” as like pp said it’s not your decision to make. I’ve also known of men to get unsupervised access regardless of dv so I don’t think it makes a huge difference either way.

We as my ex raped me, threatened to rape me, throttled me and punched me in the eye, I'd entirely agree with your assessment there.