Hello,
I think I have messed up any chances with a fellow colleague.
The story starts last Thursday -16/5/19. We are both managers and I was handing over the shift to him, explaining what had happenef etc. Now we always end up talking about jiberish stuff too and I always end up leaving a lot later when he's taking overfrom me, he is also frequently back and forth to our staff room while I'm still present getting myself sorted to go home.
Anyway he sent me a message apologising for seeming awkward before I left last week and he thought he made me uncomfortable, as , I looked up he thought I saw him staring at my breasts ( I thought my top had risen up but didn't notice him staring)
I had to read his message a few times as I wasn't expecting that and felt that he was doing the decent thing, by apologising. The messages continued way into the early hours after, getting more and more flirty - we agreed anything uncomfortable or too far would be voiced, we could look but no touching. I do think that we went too far with certain photos but it felt right and he admitted that we get on really well but he hadn't realised something was there.
Next day came and he messaged again, hoping I didn't regret the evening before, which I didn't but nothing after this.
I didn't see him or hear from him again until Thursday just gone, when I was handing over to him again. I stayed behind to do some e-learning and he kept coming into the room I was in back and forth but seemed to be followed by our colleagues, so he left again, it felt like he was trying to be alone with me. Eventually he just waited in the room until everyone had left and proceeded to ask him what last week was about. He was very smiley (shyly )and at one point said 'lets see where this goes'.
Once I had done my e-learning I left and had a message from him when I got home, which again proceeded somewhat. I told him that I want to touch him, just a kiss or hug, he didn't refuse. One minute he seems to want more from me, then he started to have second thoughts later on ( I do want to take things slow and don't want to sleep with him like now but this feels like mixed messages)
I felt like I went to far when I said that our boss could hardly tell us off for having something, when she had a thing with one of her managers at her store, then quickly apologised for going too far. He said he didn't think I had and he knew what I was saying.
Yesterday we did the normal handover, then before he went to do his jobs I said aren't you forgetting something and he said that I could have a hug while no-one was there and he shyly smiled. The hug lasted a good few minutes or so and didn't feel like he wanted to get away.
Later on I said thanks for the hug but when he messaged back he seemed somewhat standoffish and didb't seem so into me.
I am going on holiday Tuesday morning so won't see him now for 2 weeks, I am worried I won't hear from him and I that I have gone too far and he thinks I'm too full on. I don't think I'd be feeling so bad if I wasn't going away and feel like I'm in limbo now.....have I messed this up, blown any chance of anything. What do you think, any support on what I can do or not do?
Sorry it's long.