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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I overreacting?

8 replies

Overreacting1234 · 24/05/2019 19:27

Yesterday our DD(3) was refusing to put her pyjamas on and hid under the bed. DH shouted at her and dragged her out by the arms and she got carpet burn over her tummy from it. I was furious, and he was very apologetic and kissed it better but tried to say it wasn't a big deal and he had to do it because he couldn't get her out any other way and it was an accident. It was definitely an accident, but I can't help thinking if he hadn't been angry he could have done it gently and the accident could have been avoided. Am I overreacting or is he minimising? Or a bit of both?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 24/05/2019 19:30

Shouting at a 3 year old and dragging her from under the bed like an utter pillock is shit parenting. He couldn't have just spoken to her? Is he always so inept at dealing with his child?

TooTrueToBeGood · 24/05/2019 19:38

He hurt a tot because he chose to indulge his temper. The use of the word accident in cases like this seriously irritates me. It implies an outcome that was unforeseeable and unintended e.g. free from blame. Stubbing your toe is an accident. Shouting at and physically hurting a child because you're an areshole is not an accident.

Windmillwhirl · 24/05/2019 19:50

He couldn't have just spoken to her?

Presumably he tried to do that.??? I mean logically you would try and ask first.

Has he ever behaved like this before,op?

Costacoffeeplease · 24/05/2019 19:50

What harm was she doing being under the bed, would she not just have got fed up and come out eventually?

UhOhSpagettiOs · 24/05/2019 19:51

He needs to learn to step back a bit but probably feels awful, so I wouldn't be too hard on him.
Sometimes, it's just not worth arguing with kids when they are on one. DD went to bed completely naked last night, with a pair of clean pants on her head.... Grin

Overreacting1234 · 24/05/2019 19:55

He did try to reason with her first, yes. To be fair, I would have probably lifted her out too, it was that he did it angrily and roughly and ended up hurting her.

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 24/05/2019 20:28

He needs to learn to chill out. Gosh I've got three little monsters that I singlehandedly get ready for bed every night and I manage to do it without injuring them and believe me it can be stressful!
He must have really dragged her to make carpet burns unless your carpet is really rough?

Windmillwhirl · 24/05/2019 20:38

I'd say a carpet burn wouldn't take much given she is light and would have slid along with ease quite quickly.

He absolutely shouldn't have done it, but maybe this has been a wake-up call for him as well.

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