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Relationships

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Anxiety around relationships

2 replies

peanutcrunch · 24/05/2019 17:18

So I have been around the block so to speak a few times.
Early 40s now, divorced with 1DS. I divorced my first husband in 2012 after 13 years. He was unsupportive when I was suffering from PND and quite cruel. He's the only person I've ever lived with.
I then had 2 either relationships, the first abusive and he stalked me and then a long distance one which didn't work out. I've had flings inbetween. So I went on a date last night with someone I had a fling with a few years ago. Texts were suggestive and I know he doesn't want commitment. We have drink and chatted and I enjoyed his company. Today I'm feeling a bit deflated. I feel like I almost have a phobia of men now, no confidence and it creates huge anxiety. I wonder if I can get past this? Generally now I don't bother with men as it would take someone a lot of patience. That's not fair on them. I'm offloading really. I'm not too fussed about date, I could stay friends and won't sleep with him as he wasn't a different things. I'm talking generally, if I'll ever be comfortable or trusting enough.

OP posts:
FuriousVexation · 24/05/2019 17:28

Genuine question - what do you expect to get out of a relationship? Living together? Team work?

peanutcrunch · 24/05/2019 17:31

@FuriousVexation. I'm not looking for a fling. Id rather invest time in someone who has the same goals in life, share holidays, support one another, shared interests..the usual. I wouldn't rule out marrying again. I wouldn't rush into anything but I would eventually like to live together and think long term. I don't know how to get these in todays dating world!

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