How much do I tell my children (dv)

[whatdoitellthem]

Does anyone have any experience of telling their teenagers about domestic violence from the past?
It has come up because my child has requested a copy of their medical history and it mentions a dv assault and now the child is curious.

How old are they?

I’d be inclined to tell them the truth.

I didn’t tell my dd much because she was very small. She was shocked, as an adult, when she found out. Tell them the basics at least.

If they are old enough to request a copy of their medical history they are old enough to know the truth IMO.

14 and 16. The problem is one is currently doing GCSE's so I will need to wait until that is finished.
I'm worried it will affect their mental health.

Be honest, state the facts. Good luck x

I have experienced this from the other side. My mum waited until I was an adult, then told me about a very abusive first marriage, because her old surname was on my birth certificate. It was a huge shock as I'd no idea she'd been married before her marriage to my dad! Some things started to make sense though. I think the sooner they know, the easier it will be to process.

They have each other to talk to about it. (I had no one, as I didn't want to upset my mum or betray her confidence by talking to anyone else.)

Surely refusing to discuss it will be much more damaging to their mental health than being honest?

Why would a teenager want their medical records?