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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To leave or stay?

4 replies

Lollipops101 · 23/05/2019 07:49

I am 33 and own a home with my fiancé who I have been with for 7 years. Recently I have had doubts about continuing with our relationship even though it would be heart breaking for both of us.
We argue at least once a week and some of these are bad arguments that come out of petty small issues such as who fed the dogs. DF is the one who gets heated quickly. I do not like being shouted at so do respond.
I have concerns we are not compatible as currently we do not often agree on what to do or what to watch on tv. I do not think our interests align. He annoys me much more than he is used to.
He also pays me money for food/bills for the month to organise, as he could be trusted with this. He will then ask for small amounts sporadically throughout the month for juice or bits of treat foods, not realising this all adds up and that’s our food shop money because he has run out of his own money. This drives me mad and then because he has used all his money at least half of every month we can’t do anything together (he does not like going for a walk or anything that’s free) or I have to pay for us both if I want to do something together.
I am really exhausted at the moment due to work and I am unsure if I am thinking clearly or if this really is a huge issue, I need time off but I can’t at the moment. We have talked everything through on lots of occasions but not much changes. Despite having these doubts I do love him, and he is kind, funny and helps me in lots of ways. When I think about leaving I cry. However I keep having these doubts creeping in.

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 23/05/2019 07:51

I think you know what the answer is!

My advice would be to leave now whilst you can do so relatively amicably. Above all else, don't have children with a shouty manchild!!

Loopytiles · 23/05/2019 07:53

What do you mean “he gets heated”?

The money thing would be a deal breaker for me: he’s an adult and should be able to learn to manage his money.

Other things just sound like you’re bored/fed up with the relationship.

Do you want DC? If so then it would be sensible to move on asap.

Loopytiles · 23/05/2019 07:53

To being single/seeking someone new.

Lollipops101 · 23/05/2019 08:00

@Loopytiles

Just either becoming angry or shouting more than I would think necessary.

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