Harassment?

[Motherof3feminists]

Hi, I've posted in legal but no one legal has responded so thought I'd try here.

I'm being given the runaround by the police over my ex-FWB harassing me. Unfortunately he lives next door. There's been verbal abuse (which they spoke to him about), criminal damage and harassment. I don't want to give too many details but he is making me feel very uncomfortable and restricted in my own home/street as he's recording my family oncctv, is complaining to my letting agent about me(they've told him I'm not doing anything wrong) and possibly trying to get me evicted, laughing with someone outside my house about the police being called and generally making life unpleasant.

The police have been confusing at best. It's harassment, it's not harassment, it's a civil matter not a police matter. They've taken a statement and spoken to him a second time but he's continued. The message again is that it's a civil matter not a police one.

Does anyone have any wisdom as to how to deal with this please?

Its ok, I'm giving up. Women's Aid have confirmed it's not harassment so I just need to ignore him.
Maybe if they took the "little" things seriously then women wouldn't end up murdered. I feel so let down and vulnerable.

I just wanted to say I’m sorry about this and to let you know I’m here for a handhold

I'm sorry no one seems to be able to offer advice - hopefully they will be along soon. It sounds like you're having a tough time but I think if you ignore it as much as you can, refuse to react etc, then perhaps he'll give up & go harass someone else. Not sure what "recording my family on cctv" means, or why this is a problem?

Hopefully someone will come along with better advice. I assume you are recording everything he does? can you get your own video footage?

If the police won't help, could you see a solicitor? Surely you can file a restraining order or similar!

There was another thread on here not so long ago about an ex FWB (also a neighbour) harrassing the op. Sorry I can't link to it but try searching.

I think I remember you posting previously about this or maybe it was someone else. I remember some incident involving some car tires and another female neighbour moving because she was also going through some trouble with said man?

If this is you I am sorry you’re still going through this and I wish there was something I could do of assistance but I wish you the best and I hope this situation ends soon

I did have a previous thread yes. I had hoped the police would help resolve things but they keep saying different things and I'm feeling confused and frustrated. Typically of abusive men he's not doing anything he can be charged with or arrested over but is still causing me to feel upset and intimidated. Unless he's physically intimidating or he's contacting me though it's not harassment.

Maybe I should have pursued the criminal damage element, but as it was only £25 I thought it unnecessary as I hoped a warning from the police would stop his behaviour.

Put cameras all around your home with 24 hour surveillance. Then you’ll have proof of any future damage.

Shrug him off. Knowing you’re upset is what feeds his I suspect if he sees it has no effect on you, it will stop.