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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He wasn't feeling it... need a good cry and hand hold. But am I emotionally unavailable?

3 replies

KhaleesiTargaryen · 21/05/2019 20:24

Just on to vent as I'm feeling really crap. Been seeing a guy who was lovely to me, texted me daily, called me nice little nicknames but deep down I knew it didn't have legs...

He's a bit of a free spirit, used to getting up and setting off here there and everywhere with no ties, worked offshore at times and really not that compatible with my set-up (divorced, mum of 2, one still at home).

And, being honest he took me out of my comfort zone in many ways but I never really felt he was "beside me" iykwim. But it was early days... so I thought that might come. Didn't ask much about my wider life, didn't really compliment me much but his attention was so flattering.

Had the chat tonight as I'd felt increasingly like something didn'd addup and he admitted he wasn't really feeling it. Why string me along? I feel so stupid. It was only a couple of months so why do I feel so gutted?

In that time, three other people asked me out but I wasn't interested. I'm beginning to think I gravitate towards men who are unavailable/unrealistic for me. Why? Am I emotionally unavailable too?

OP posts:
TotheLaunchBay · 21/05/2019 20:50

I think that you are sensible as a divorced mother with a child at home to take things slowly and be very picky. It doesn't make you emotionally unavailable, just cautious

Ilovemylabrador · 21/05/2019 20:52

Being picky is good. Don’t settle for less that you want or need.

KhaleesiTargaryen · 21/05/2019 21:11

Thank you both. You're so right. I could have let it drag on feeling unsure... I just couldn't picture him in my life further down the line but I somehow wanted him to want me - and I'm confused about why I wanted that? I just wanted to keep him at a distance.

It's like I enjoy the intimacy and the dating but I'm leading a double life, keeping the relationship a safe distance from my family life. Is that normal?

OP posts:
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