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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

'In laws'

28 replies

arialuna15 · 21/05/2019 14:31

So every Wednesday me and my boyfriend unless go for dinner at his parents house however last Wednesday I asked him if we could cancel as I wasn't really feel up for it. I wasn't feel sick or anything just a little down, having one of those days where I just wanted to cuddle up on the sofa in my PJ and stay in. Anyways later that evening I was really craving some apples so we went to the shop to buy some and saw my boyfriend step-mother there. She then told us they were no impressed we cancelled dinner and that we are pushing them away. Do you think I was wrong to cancel dinner? It's not like we missed dinner all the time. We visit his parents loads I just wasn't feeling up for it that day. When my boyfriend then said 'we're sorry but you need to understand we having our Iran family soon. We won't be able to see you as much once baby is here and some days we won't feel like leaving the house' she then told us that were being unfair and she has a right to see us and the baby whenever she wants

OP posts:
Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 24/05/2019 06:09

OP ..mistake number one...do not ever be financially involved with family...ever! Boundaries get crossed and expectations come with all sorts of hidden strings as you are finding out.You are a grown up and can do as you please.you do not need to run to anyone elses timetable or be organized by anyone else but you muddied the waters with step mum by getting sucked into a routine and she had and will have a hidden agenda...Boundaries are needed lovely lady...your time,your family you decide not her.Start cutting loose bit by bit..do it now before the kids arrive or your problems with her ,well,lets just say this will be just the beginning!

cranstonmanor · 24/05/2019 07:01

I feel like once baby is here I'll have to drop everything to go see them to save arguments.

The only way to save arguments is to have them sooner rather than later. That way they get less set in a routine and you manage their expectations better.

Cherrysoup · 24/05/2019 21:25

Stop the Wednesday thing. You’re having a baby, you won’t want to be round every week without fail. Stop letting her know you’re going to hospital for false labour: why are you sharing so much with her? Boundaries, OP. Get some!

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