Friend, fiancé splitting up

[Sammiejo12]

A few months ago I wrote for MN advice over a male friend calling and messaging me late/ early for lifts back after he had been out on the piss.

I ignored him, blocked him and came clean to the girlfriend that he'd been messaging me.

He did do it again. "Ditch your mate and come back to mine for fun" sort of lines. I obvs ignored it.

They have now split for a break and last weekend I told her about the second lot of messages and said that I wanted her to know so she can make what she wants of them.

As far as I know they met last night to talk and from what I can gather she wants him back and it almost doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do. He has a history of calling and messaging people Desperate for a drink apparently... I didn't get just a drink vibe from him.

Anyway, I just feel terrible about it all now, wish I had t said anything. If they were great I of course wouldn't have but she was so upset and I felt o owed it to her for her to know the full truth.

Needless to say she hasn't replied to my message asking if she's ok...

😩. Just wanted to get it off my chest. I mean this is only the surface issues, they're are 6 years worth of crap like this.

Try not to be so hard on yourself you did the right thing, I told a friend her husband was cheating on her and I have never heard from her again. Be there for when she does eventually need you, which is more than likely she will.

Sadly, the messenger often gets shot. It's horrible, but true.

She may well be embarrassed that you know what's happened and that she's accepting it. Hopefully that will fade with time. If you've let her know that you're there for her no matter what, all you can do is wait.

I would just phase myself away from both of them. Slowly.

Good on you for telling her but surely no need to keep being involved?

Can you not bow out and just block him on everything so he can't get back in touch with you?

Yes that's my part done. I'm not going to say any more to them or about them.

Didn't want to get involved in the first place but she was so upset about it all. My heart went out for her as I had been in a similar situation a few years ago.

They're engaged to be married next year, and the wedding kept being postponed and last week he told her he didn't want to have kids or the big wedding she had started to plan.

You 100% did the right thing OP x

It's taken me a long time to learn that the messenger always gets shot down.

I know it doesn't seem fair as you were only trying to do the right thing. Just leave them to it. 😘

Good for you! You'd have felt worse not saying anything. Unfortunately she's made her decision and she'll probably be blaming you rather than him.

Slightly different but my good friend had the worst relationship with her partner....massive arguments, moving out, not talking for months.... I was supportive and a friend but after 8 years the final time (and worse time when he threw all her stuff out of the house) I said this time you can't forgive him, it's so messed up....a month later they were engaged
I felt like a dick!

Needless to say we are still friends but now they are married she can't confide in anyone about their awful relationship.

You must step back. Leave them to it
He'll be doing it with other girls and unfortunately your friend will be dragged down even more x