Tell me the honest truth - am I forever alone?

[BuxomWenchOnAPony]

Getting divorced after 18 years, exH has a ‘loving relationship’ with the woman he’s been cheating with for a year.
I’m ok on my own, have work and lovely friends and my beautiful children.
But, looking ahead, I’m 39 with a 9 and a 12 year old, I’m not hideous but a little bit overweight. I’m a good person though, people usually like me (I think?) and I’m kind and loving. Are there likely to be any men who are decent, kind, honest and interested in me? It seems so unlikely and like I’ll just bring my girls up and then wither away!!

Well the simple answer is no

The long answer is something you may want to sit and talk to a therapist about. I would seriously recommend it after you’ve spent half your life with someone.

my Mum was in the same position. She’s found even more good friends and we’ve become even closer. She’s also 4 dress sizes smaller as she got her confidence back by working on getting herself healthy, busy and happy. She’s had several lovely partners who she’s had lots of fun with. Though she wishes it had never happened, because he was the father of her children and it hurt everyone so much, she says she’s happier day to day than she was before. She also knows she’s ok on her own and doesn’t feel the need to have one person for the rest of her life.
So in short, i’d Say you will probably never have the same again but yes, you will probably meet someone else to share your life with if that’s what you want.
Also, what a dick he sounds

Even if you waited until your DC were adults before you started dating again, you'd be in your 40s...hardly withering away age.

My dad found a new girlfriend through online dating when he was 63. My dad is ugly (sorry dad) with a pot belly and bald. Not photogenic either. Neither is he romantic. He's in his 70s now and still with the same woman. They'll never move in together though, they're too set in their ways but they see each other every weekend the whole weekend at the very least and speak on the phone constantly.

I don't know if you'll stay single, but being not very young anymore or having children isn't the reason to stay single if you're open to a relationship. Neither is a few extra pounds weight.

I do recommend that you don't dive in to dating or a new relationship immediately. You are still quite vulnerable and you need to get to know yourself as a single person again. Take your time to get over your ex first and make your own life before you start looking. And please don't settle for a twat, there is no need to settle for anyone.

I hear you .. it’s crucifying when a long relationship ends especially when you IH cheated and seems blissfully happy with OW but you will recover and move on and unless you choose it .. then there’s no reason why you should end up alone . I split from ex h in 2012 after discovering his three year long affair with his work colleague and also my friend . We were together for 16 years by that point and married for 13 . I was forty and youngest dcs were11,7 and 2 I and thought I’d never get over it I went into a rebound relationship then a horrible toxic one to try and numb my pain while I felt I had ex hs “happiness “ rubbed in my face . Last year I took the decision to re locate three hours away to a much nicer place and slowly but surely have rebuilt my life. I am single today and coming up to 47 but can honestly say that st this moment I’m really content . I have lots of friends and a really busy life . I recently went into therapy to address some long-standing issues that had resulted in my poor relationship choices and it’s helped a great deal . As it stands I’m choosing to be single and enjoying it . Ex h is still with OW and interestingly now I’m happy and moved on has started bleating about how he is not as happy with his life as he seems ... Not my problem ! You will recover but the breakdown of a long relationship can be very traumatic so get lots of support if you can

Of course there will be decent men interested in you. You're only 39. For now concentrate on yourself and kids, learn to love being single and when you are ready you can start dating again.

You will find someone, I did internet dating for a while, found my now partner and all is good.

First, you have to happy within yourself, accept invites from friends of evenings out.

With internet dating I found you have to weed out the idiots and weirdos and don't take it too seriously. You do find genuine guys on internet dating you just have to not over analyse which is easy to do when you have been badly let down 😕

Hapoy hunting 💐