How young?

[YouKnowILoveYou]

If you were an older woman what's the biggest age gap you would have between you and a man? Or the youngest you would go to?

I had a bit of a fling with similar ages OP. I miss him but only because the sex was so good 😂.

You never know with any relationship what might happen, but I would be cautious not of the gap itself as such, but how young he is (early 30s and early 40s wouldn't worry me so much). I thought I knew what I wanted and had my life planned out at 22. I was wrong, but I think you grow up a lot and change during your 20s

He is too young to make a final decision on kids so it may end. He is also at an age with lots of emotional development to come. However I tend to not go through life worrying what might happen. What’s the worst case scenario? It ends. Most relationships end else everyone would marry their first bf/gf

@Tixytrick I've said to him lots about the kids etc but he's said I'm enough for him. I think I'm just gonna see where things go. If it works great if not then least we tried

That’s the way to look at it. Don’t be too fixed on the kid answer though. Lots of my friends said they didn’t want kids in their 20’s and now have four so things can and do change. Just enjoy it and see where it goes. Who knows what the future holds. None of us!

Cough... I'm probably not the best person to ask about this!

Having had my heart thoroughly broken by my bastard of a ex-husband, I am in no way shape or form ready for a relationship. But I like sex and companionship so, um, have quite a few much younger FWB.

All gentlemen, all respectful, all intelligent, all cultured. And total horn dogs to boot There's a lot to be said for younger men!

I'm mid-forties BTW. My limit is 25

Are you talking about a fling/ one night stand or a more serious relationship?

If the former - I speak as a woman in her late 40s - then pretty much anything goes in theory. In the latter, personally I think about 8 years younger or older would be the max. But life can surprise you.

My DH is almost eight years younger than me, we met when I was 28 and he was almost 21.
I was a single mum to two and he was at uni. We met exactly eight years ago and now have three children of our own.
We don't notice an age gap, my ExH was eleven years my senior and seemed luke a different generation

I think I'd go ten years in either direction if I were single.
Up to a decade or so is negligible in real terms, especially as you both grow older.

I went out with someone who was 20 & I was 31....I fell madly in love and luckily for me he did too ....21 years later we are blissfully happy & married with 2 kids and still madly in love 🤮😂. It's just a number and if it feels right and not illegal....go for it

@bert3400 that makes me feel so much better thank you!!! Think it was the thought of the big age gap but you've put my mind at rest. Can I ask people's reactions please?

My husband is 8years younger than me,age doesnt matter its how u click with that person x

My aunt is 11 years older than her husband. That has worked for 52 years!

Downwards probs no younger than 32-35 (I'm 40 this year) but I would up to 15 years older. My DM is with someone 20 years her junior. They've been together ages.

need fill your boots!
Am only mildly envious

I know someone who is 62 and his wife is 79 they have been together for 27 years! He absolutely adores her!

I’ve been chatted up by someone half my age! It depends what you are looking for. I’m in my 40s. Relationship - 10 or so years. Sex and fun only, say 22 or there abouts.

Now watch me get shot down in flames!

I've always found that men in their 20s can be really immature so I personally wouldn't date a young 20's guy.
I'm 28 and would only date from 32 onwards.

It's really depends.

On what sort of relationship, kids etc.

I know someone who started going out with a 24 year old, she had 4 kids and couldnt have anymore. She was 36 at the time.

He insisted he was happy never having kids etc. The marriage was good until he hit mid 30s and realised he did want kids. He tried to ignore it. She had grandkids at this point. She tried to ignore that she knew he wanted them and she couldnt have anymore.

There were a few problems. She hit menopause (which seems to be a hump for some relationships anyway) and didnt hee sex drive took a huge hit. He was mid 30s and though he tried to be ok with the no sex, he struggled (as most of us would I think) he never cheated, but it was a problem. The kids issue became a problem. She then started believing he would leave her for someone younger able to have kids, cheat on her. The marriage ended up crap. He didnt cheat and wanted to stay in the marriage. But the problems became too huge and they became miserable. Neither bad people or did anything wrong as such.

After the split, she actually got back with an ex her own age and same stage off life. He did meet someone else and have a child but it took 6 years to even date as he did still love her.

I know this is one example. But as a single mother in late 30s, I have been chatted up by men in their 20s who say they dont want kids. I just think that opinion can and often does change.

@Icandothisallday I've told him multiple times his opinion could change on kids etc but he's insisting it won't. He's very very mature for his age and isn't into the normal stuff people his age are. This is so hard ☹️

YouKnowILoveYou I get that. My friends husband insisted he didnt want them. He wanted to be with her so much.

But he couldnt predict that would change or help that it did.

Fact is that he may never be bothered about kids and that might always be the case. But, personally, I wouldnt risk getting into a long term relationship when this is a risk. I wouldnt want to invest my time and emotions having this in the back of my head.

I've heard the "rule" is usually half your age plus 7. But whatever works for you, however as others have said, I'd be wary of him changing his mind about children etc. And I personally wouldn't take the risk