Advice about my friend's gf threatening to kill herself

[DriveMeToTheHills]

I have a friend. His girlfriend says she will kill herself if he leaves, if their dog dies etc. Basically she uses it to manipulate him. She doesn't like him to have friends, or to be away from her. She won't seek medical advice. What can I advise? At the moment I just listen.

Tell him to leave and the first time she threatens suicide get him to ring the police.

Tell him she's being manipulative through guilting him. Tell him it's horribly common for people to threaten death.

Point him at resources like

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/fighting-fear/201403/if-you-leave-me-ill-kill-myself

www.thehotline.org/2014/08/21/when-your-partner-threatens-suicide/

and to heed the red flags and get out.

If he knows who her doctor is I'd suggest he contacts him/her with this info, explaining that he's ending his relationship with her, is NOT responsible for her mental health issues, and would appreciate their taking whatever action they as the appropriate professionals feel necessary.

Tell him to tell her that he's not her social worker and deal with it. I used to have a friend the same and in the end it got on my nerves. Finally I said get on with it and you know what-she never did herself any harm.

My husband's ex did this. He tried to break up with her twice in the first year or so of their relationship, and she threatened suicide so he felt he had to stay. They stayed together years, got married, and had kids, but he was always unhappy and looking for a way to leave. He eventually ended the marriage and moved out.

I don't understand why people do this. I'd rather a man stayed with me out of love, and not because he felt coerced.

Advise your friend that he's perfectly entitled to end any relationship he wants to. If she threatens suicide, he needs to understand that whether or not she goes through with it has very little to do with him. It's her choice. If she tells him she's made a suicide attempt after he's dumped her, he needs to inform the emergency services and otherwise stay out of it and not get sucked back in by the drama.

He cant keep being emotionally blackmailed. If he wants to leave he should. First time she then threatens suicide he reports it to emergency services. And repeat as often as necessary.

Tell him to avoid ANY relationship where one partner becomes more powerful than the other; especially where blackmail is part of the controlling behaviour.

It’s a life skill to be learned now whilst he’s got the opportunity.