I’m scared of my ex.

[Blueelephants]

We have dc so I can not avoid or cut him off. He refuses to accept our relationship is over, and has threatened me so I’m scared to tell friends or family how I feel or get advice. I never know what he will do next, I’ve distanced myself from loved ones as I’m scared he will drag them in to it or try and use them against me.

I feel guilty doing this post which I don’t understand as he has been so, so horrible to me for years.

I don’t know what to do.

Women's Aid. Now.

If he has made threats then you need to tell someone - friend or family member. Don’t isolate yourself, that is what he wants. Report the threats to the Police. Every. Single. Time.
Try and ensure any contact you have with him is strictly about the children and do it all in writing - emails, texts. Don’t accept any calls from him. If everything is in writing he will slip up and you’ll have your evidence there for the Police.
He’s a bully. He’s your ex for a reason. Don’t let him win.

Women's Aid

And tell your family and friends. If they don't know you've split up or that he us taking it badly, that he is scaring you, they won't be able to help you.

Dont allow him to isolate you from people who love you.

Do tell your family and friends, they need to know to protect themselves and you. After all, if they don't know how dangerous he might be, why would they take any precautions, and why wouldn't they tell him where you are or what you're doing if he asked? If they knew he's made threats they could be ready to call the police if he came round and they wouldn't get into a car with him, etc. His abuse thrives in the dark of secrecy and you covering for him, shine a light on it.

Go to the police about his threats.

Speak to Women's Aid.

If he's put any of his threats into text or email, show them to the police as well.

There are also legal actions you can take to make him stay away.