Feeling rejected and lonely

[Isreeh]

How do you deal feeling rejected and now lonley? I’m going to petition for a divorce because my new husband is having affair. We married, had ivf and then a miscarriage. Husband sought comfort in a old female friend who he ended up having an affair with. Just so hurt, rejected and feeling scared for the future on my own after so long with him. Any advice to deal with rejection and loneliness would be great. Thxx

Of course it hurts and you are only just dealing with this now. It does get easier. Yes, it can be scary but it can also be exciting. Who knows what you will do with your freedom, who you will meet.!?! That thinking helped me through a breakup.

Spend time with friends, keep busy, focus on his bad points not good.

I found reading helped me a lot. I could lose myself in another world. Jodi Picout got me through one breakup

Thinking of you OP. What a difficult situation

Take some time to spoil yourself if you can! Spa treatments, coffee shops, good books etc.

Thank you both, I’m trying but it’s the constant pain of loosing my young marriage and promised future that hurts so much. The OW is enjoying everything I worked hard for in getting my husband ! 😔😥

Hi OP! So sorry you are going through this. It’s a lot to handle. It WILL get better in time. Mean time, look after yourself - plan as much as you are able to do things that make you happy, and spend time with people who make you feel good. Also keep an eye on your mental health. You have gone through an awful lot - if you find yourself getting very low, a visit to the GP could be in order (I neglected mine in a similar situation, and that was a REAL mistake). Of course, everyone is different I know. I just wanted to mention it.

Mm the ow has bagger herself a proven cheating twat. Hardly a first prize is he? You hadn't known his true worth. She does.
You need to count yourself very lucky.

The OW hasn't won a prize, she's won a bag of crap and cleared your house of it.

🥳🥳🥳

You have been freed of a life of gaslighting and destroyed self esteem.

You are still soooooo young, you will go out, date, marry and have children ... with a much nicer man.

Do the Freedom Programme to ensure the next one isn't a total tit.

I love the messages of support so thank you x I’m not young young! I’m actually 45 and my marriage only lasted a year before I found out about the affair. Even the OW is no good, she’s getting divorced herself and has decided to steal my husband to get over her own issues. But he’s the one who made the vows and owes it to me! Monday I start the divorce and it is hard to think my marriage has come to a end like this. 😥

I'm sorry you have to go through this OP.

I guess it's some small consolation that you found out what a weak human being he is before you'd been married for umpteen years. Is he going along with your request for divorce easily enough?

Sending best wishes x

After a few () useless dh's I didn't lose hope!! I married my final dh () at 44!!

@TeaForTheWin. He doesn’t know yet as we are separated. I’m just going to file firvit under unreasonable behaviour so I can list all the other shitty things he’s done. I don’t think he will be surprised. He’s done it all and blames me. 😡

OP I'm 20 years older than you and my oldest DC is your age! you're still young!

Ah ye'olde 'its your fault I dipped my wick somewhere else because it's not like I'm not an adult that has to be responsible for my own behaviour or anything' line.

Some people have issues. Luckily, he's not your issue anymore :) Good riddance to bad rubbish lol.

I know it is good riddance but I wish I just didn’t love him to help me get over it. Part of me is struggling and hoping a miracle will occurs but I know that’s my wishful thinking. It’s so shit when you get sucker punched by the man you love the most! 😡😥

Remember he really isn't the man you loved though. Wolf in sheep's clothing and all that...

So sorry, I know that feeling (though long marriage for me, not sure if it's better or worse) I'm off to hang out in the meals for one aisle at Waitrose, well you never know! Oh and buy food if course

@stucknoue, god that sounds depressing (meal for one). I just feel so cheated and hurt he could do this and ruin our future. I hope in time he regrets it and realised the OW is also a wolf in sheep’s clothing. So painful x

Sorry you are going through this. There is no magic cure to stop you feeling the way you do, you just have to ride it out. There will come a day in the future when you will feel happy again, you may not believe that now but you will.

Please remember the OW didn't 'steal' your husband (HE made the choice) & all she has 'won' is a cheater who has lost everything for the sake of a legover, bit of a shit prize if you ask me!

However lonely I felt after I split with my ex, I still never felt lonelier than when I was in a room with my exH. When I look at him now I don't feel sadness, love, hate, NOTHING - apart from regret the time I spent wasting my life being sad about it all, it really wasn't worth the energy.

You will get through this

@Mumsymumphy thank you for the kind words. Yes everyone says I need to ride it out and one day there will be light at the end of this never ending dark tunnel. I may write a letter to myself about what I’m feeling right now and maybe I’ll look back and see how far I come in the future.

The OW knew he just got married but used him to deal with her own situation. But yes he’s the one who made the choice to cheat after 5 months of marriage. It was BS of him trying to help a friend. She’s such a manipulator and my DH is a idiot for throwing away his life for some OW who will never love him like I did and still do. X

Of course it's going to hurt. It's still new and raw.

Eventually you'll see they're just two twats with defective moral compasses and you're well rid.

@RantyAnty, yes they are both as bad each other. My problem is I keep thinking I would have been happily married if the OW didn’t come into the picture. I had such an amazing wedding (mixing of indian and English cultures with fire service elements). Everyone loved it and I keep thinking about how he cried during the vows. So imagine having all that and then it’s taken away. 😥