How often do happy couples argue?

[Tortoise22]

I'd be really interested to know how often happy couples argue with each other, big arguments and small disagreements.

I'm in a troubled relationship that I think I need to get out of and would like some perspective on how abnormal or not our situation is.

We don't argue much. Rarely. Been together over 15 years and have only ever had 2 big arguments - both in the first 18 months. Both extremely laid back though.

We’ve been together 10 years, married 5. I can think of one big argument about three years ago... other than that we don’t really argue at all. we are both far too laid back too get into an argument about things.

Although one thing I’m not laid back about is his snoring.... which is why I am awake now ..... but I just roll him over... hahaha

I don't think I've ever had an argument with DW. We are both very conflict averse. It is not healthy in my opinion. I consider our relationship to be unhappy.

So overall I would say there is no normal and it's not a good barometer of a happy relationship. Look to how happy you are, that should tell you what you need to know.

Me and DH have little squabbles quite a lot, but we’ve never had a proper argument. I think though, as long as the argument gets resolved and everyone moves on then it doesn’t matter

We’re reasonably happy, with a demanding young baby and dog. We argue about minor things (bickering) probably once a day, usually as I’ve “hidden” (put away) something or he’s left a towel on the floor. But usually it ends up with a kiss, and tbf I do enjoy a light bicker even with friends.

We argue properly about once or twice a year, usually due to stress over finances (and his poor money management) but tbf he agrees with me so it’s not a real heated argument. It’s just me vocalising stress and disappointment really, and I’m not sure an outsider might even realise it was an argument. But our daily argument can sometimes have raised voices, usually were both smiling as were yelling - yes it’s weird but I like it.

We sometimes bicker, grumble or moan and the other one will ignore or perhaps occasionally snap back - but we never actually argue. If we have a proper disagreement or difference of opinion we discuss it and put our point across whilst still respecting the other persons viewpoint.

There is never ever any personal insults thrown in anger.

You can argue respectfully.

Depends what you mean by argument.
DH and I often have heated debates, we disagree on lots of things but I personally think that a strong relationship can take disagreement and difference of opinion / reaction if there is still respect and courtesy. Arguments aren’t always an indicator of abuse or inequality or some other LTB issue.

We have had shocking rows about Brexit, the children not eating their dinner, ,money etc. But we are still a functioning family and have a lot of fun and good times.
We did both grow up in families full of big personalities and outspoken people so perhaps that is a factor? Generally we are both very laid back people but when we blow we blow.

I couldn’t be with someone who internalised, or sulked or stewed. But we are all different.

We get stressed or annoyed with each other a few times a month. Major arguments where we have argued for a couple hours about something, it’s maybe happened less than 10 times in nearly 11 years together. They were about big things (financial decisions, burden of sharing household tasks, drama caused by other family members) that we eventually worked through, not little everyday things. I think if you have to ask, you’re probably arguing too much for you.

I think it depends on personality, I need someone to push back against me and tell me when I’m out of line (as does my DH) or I would be in danger of being controlling I think. So we argue but I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was avoidant of conflict as I wouldn’t trust myself to not be unkind, controlling etc

Niggles/nagging - maybe twice a month.

Big huge horrible shouting match - maybe once every 6 months. Usually when we've both been under pressure, usually about housework or money.

Happiness wise I'd say we are both contented in the relationship and happier together than apart.

If you're being argued with constantly, remember it's supposed to be loving, not hard work.

Hardly ever. Been together over 12 years. Only one argument with raised voices and that was when we were still teenagers (30s now). We have squabbles but they're not nasty and we don't fall out. Both far too laid back. He has never called me names and I havnt either. Life's too short to be stuck with someone who you're arguing with a lot.

We squabble and make up v quickly over numerous small things. Only had a couple of big arguments in the 8 years we've been together. I consider our relationship very happy

I think it's more about the ratio of positive to negative interactions than anything else. Some couples I know well argue a lot but they also do lots of reassurance, slushy posts on Facebook, celebrating each other's success etc. My DH and I very rarely argue and I think it's a combination of being very compatible and being good at talking it out

We disagree a lot because we are individuals, it rarely turns into an argument though. Over the years we have learned to communicate rather than argue, but at first arguments were part of the relationship.
We've been together 30 years and whilst a cliche, we're more in love than ever.

Hardly these days but we've been together nearly 30 years. We tend to have one about every 5 years now. At the beginning we used to both be quite firey but not so any more.